Chew On This – Mario and Co. Replaces All My Children

I feel for the soap opera fans who are no longer able to follow their longtime “friends and neighbors” in Pine Valley every afternoon. I was never an AMC watcher, but there have been periods in my life when I watched soap operas.

Just as sons bond with their fathers over sports (and, of course, mothers and daughters and sons can do that too), mothers and daughters often have spirited conversations debating the pros and cons of the latest scandals (and coupling…and uncoupling) that played out in fictional towns all over (mostly middle) America. All My Children may come back online, but I can't help feeling that those most attached to their “stories" are not the types that would log in regularly for their online fix.

Anyway, it's a new age. The script is dead. Reality television is where it’s at, if by “at” we mean it’s where real cost savings can be found, compared to scripted dramas especially. Writers are marginalized and actors are replaced by "real" folks playing at real life, after being directed to engage in (usually controversial) behavior by producers.

The folks that come up with television programming are either really clever or sooo unimaginative that they always seem to take one reasonably good idea and spin and reimagine and transfigure it into something else that has the same basic premise. I suppose it’s like when some cooks say there are no new recipes in the world.

The history of U.S reality television IS a fascinating one, almost more interesting than the stuff itself. There were game shows and beauty pageants in the early days…and, of course, Julia! But starting with The Real World in 1992, Survivor in 2000 and The Amazing Race in 2001, the genre has really taken off. Those shows have spawned every variation of game, competition, lifestyle and food programming, which also owe a debt to the Louds on public television in 1973.

The Chew is a combination of The View - say those two together - alliteration is key in the subconscious planting of ideas - and any run-of-the-mill food segment you've ever seen on ANY talk show, with a little Rachael Ray verve thrown in and I suppose a dash of that vanity project on CBS known as The Talk, featuring the head honcho's spouse, Julie Chen. (I hate to even include that one on this list. It is so grating.)

None of the 5 hosts of the Chew is objectionable in his or her own right (actually the jury is out on the mostly unknown Daphne Oz), but did we really need a food/talk show?

Talking of Oz, I'm not sure what the daughter of a television doctor has to offer except good connections, and why Clinton Kelly, who is a fabulous style maven, is on a food show is beyond me. Wouldn't that be like having Emeril pick shoes for someone on What Not to Wear? I can’t imagine the hour will go by without a comment about Mario's crocs. Aside from those reservations, though, they have assembled a competent group.

Who doesn’t love, love, love Carla Hall? Obviously they're banking on her likability as appealing to whomever they think is watching television at this hour.

Michael Symon, Iron Chef, and fill-in on Dinner: Impossible while Robert Irvine was on his reputation-building sabbatical, has obviously been told to smile a lot and not scare the small children who are watching with their at-home caregivers.

And, of course, it will be hard to resist Mario. His food will always be good. Just one problem…where IS Mario? He was appearing by monitor from a golf course in Joisey on the very first day of his new show. Clinton, who plays the former Meredith Viera (currently Whoopi) part of the moderator, addresses that and asks Mario where he is. He’s at a charity golf tournament helping kids, so no one can be mad at him. (Speaking of playing The View parts, thankfully, there is no Elizabeth!)

Clinton starts of by saying that he and his friends always end up in the kitchen. HUH? I would have thought he would be giving seminars in his walk-in closet. But he’s a “style icon” now AND an entertaining expert helping people to be “a little bit more fabulous”.

Michael says his style of cooking is mid-Centrum. What? Is he cooking with vitamins for old people? Let me see if I heard that right. The closed captioning couldn’t get it either. I guess he means cooking from the Midwest. Or maybe he said barbecue and ribs? No clue. Maybe it was MEAT-centric? Dunno.

More introductions - Michael loves pork. (Maybe THAT’S what he said?) Carla is everyone’s friend in the kitchen. Daphne is the health and wellness guru. Clinton says that Michael is preparing the show’s first ever dish. Should I be more excited?

Michael made some ham-wrapped pork dish. I couldn’t tell if Daphne looked disapproving, but he served it on kale and beans. I DID feel uncomfortable when he served a bunch of audience members (at a beautifully crafted audience tasting station) and watched as they chewed their first bites. I felt sorry for them having to taste as he was standing RIGHT there. Luckily, no one spit it out.

Clinton introduced random food topics in the news à la The View's Hot Topics or host chat by Regis and Kelly or Katheeee Leeee and Hoda. Nothing all that riveting was discussed and there was much more gaiety and giggling than was warranted. Then Clinton spent WAY TOO MUCH TIME telling us what was coming up. (It’s like at the movies when they give you a wrap-up of the commercials you didn’t want to see in the first place.)

Rather than trying to pretend that Daphne's dad wasn’t instrumental in her getting this new gig, they actually bring him up in a segment of Daphne’s called Things My Dad Taught Me.

Dr. Oz even showed up to give his benediction to the new show and pronounce “what a great job they’re doing.” He’s happy they’re talking about food and “making it cool, making it hip...and making it affordable”. Barf.

But it WAS funny when he started talking about when Daphne was born and the shape of her head (WHAT?!!) and he sounded like any doting father. It was quite a humorous father/daughter moment. In a word, Dr. Oz was REALLY embarrassing and Daphne was REALLY embarrassed. It felt real and I liked both of them more because of it.

One bad thing - we’re more than halfway in and poor Carla hasn’t been given enough air time. Michael Simon had a segment about his favorite kitchen tools. He talks about the microplaner. Great information – about 5 years late….

Finally. Carla’s on. She’s talking about keeping junk around the house and her Betty Crocker recipe cards from her childhood. WHAT does that have to do with healthy, modern cooking? Oh, she is apparently remaking a Betty Crocker recipe. She’s making fried apple pancake rings and her introduction isn’t promising. She says you can use a box mix or a pancake batter from scratch.

This is a COOKING show, I thought, and the daughter of DR. OZ is sitting right there, not to mention an Iron Chef. Let’s banish all mention of pancake mixes.

Carla adds pumpkin pie spice to her pancake batter. OY! I’ve never actually addressed the pumpkin pie spice issue the entire time I’ve been blogging. Suffice it to say – DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY. Just mix up a batch in the following proportions:

2 teaspoons cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ginger

1/4 teaspoon allspice

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg, freshly grated

Carla adds lemon zest to the pancake batter (with Michael’s miraculous microplaner). Then she dips apple rings in the batter and places them in a hot pan. Not that much batter sticks to them, so it’s more like a battered cooked apple than a pancake with apple rings inside.

Clinton wants a Betty Crocker recipe box of his own and Carla exclaims loudly, “Clinton is SO coveting my box.” He gives a funny look, similar to how Andy Cohen looked when The Millionaire Matchmaker went all nutsy on him. Carla just carries on. She talks about making homemade syrup by reducing apple cider, but she does bestow a Betty Crocker recipe box on him at the end of the segment. 

In the end, the apple pancake thingies looked really good. But what about all that extra pancake batter? I think I would use these battered apple rings as a garnish on a regular serving of pancakes, but I liked the recipe (minus pancake mix). And I like her.

The last segment is Mario making pizza on the golf course (with a real live pizza oven alongside his demonstration area). I could watch Mario forming thin disks from pizza dough forever. His recipe is here. It’s strange that they don’t give you his actual method for making the dough in the website recipe. And I’m thinking there’s a mistake in the amount of salt. It says to use 2 TABLESPOONS for 3½ cups of flour. In another of his pizza recipes, it’s 1½ teaspoons of salt to 3 cups of flour. I usually use about 1 teaspoon to 3 cups of flour.

I suppose I liked The Chew more by the end than the beginning. In a way, I feel bad for all the effort that has clearly gone into producing this pretty, shiny new show, which is starting with the huge impediment of replacing All My Children. Will people heartbroken over losing their daily dose of Erica Kane really glom on to The Chew?

It’s kind of fun. Everybody is affable. Carla is her same lively self and I’m happy that she has been given a vehicle to reach a larger audience. Mario’s and Michael’s food, of course, will be stellar. But, frankly, I’d rather watch Carla on her own (half hour) show and refer to cookbooks or online recipes (or THEIR other television appearances) for M and M’s food. So in spite of the beautiful new set and this new grouping of personalities, there’s no reinventing the wheel here. And I imagine there will be many empty afternoons for Pine Valley supporters.

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + 

Speaking of Mario, remember when I mentioned his beautiful panini pan? Well, here it is...just a few minutes old! 

 

  

I couldn’t resist it. It’s stunning, isn’t it? One thing, though, it is seriously heavy. The box said it weighed 17 pounds! (That does include all the packaging, but still...) 

Giada Leaves Out A Step

Giada At Home with Giada De Laurentiis

Viewer's Choice: Vegetarian

Grilled Herbed Tofu With Avocado Cream

Whole Grain Spaghetti With Brussels Sprouts And Mushrooms

Goat Cheese, Lentil And Brown Rice Rolls

Curried White Bean Dip

I love that Giada was doing vegetarian dishes today. I tuned in late while she was making her Herbed Tofu. Basically, she drizzled some olive oil over the tofu (the recipe says to brush it on) and then she smothered it in Herbes de Provence. That would be okay if they were going to be used to scent your grandmother’s underwear drawer, but personally, I would leave out the lavender and just make a quick mix of thyme, oregano, rosemary and basil. I’d probably leave out the fennel as well.

Giada grills the tofu beautifully on a grill pan. That's a nice pan. Is it one of hers from Kohl’s? Let’s look. Mmm…I can’t find it. OH, that’s the problem. HER cookware is from Target. Today she’s using a Panini Pan, which comes with a lid to use a press. $71.99 is the online price.

May I digress for a moment? That looks like a fine pan. It’s made from enameled cast iron and looks nice and heavy. All 7 reviews were positive. But I recall a Panini Pan that is extraordinary in its beauty and heft. It was Mario Batali’s and I gifted someone that pan in a magnificent apple green. It was so shiny and so substantial and gorgeous that I regret that I didn’t buy a second one…for me! It appears to be in short supply on every website that has it. Would I really want a “used” one from Amazon? Ew, and it’s in persimmon anyway.

Oh, I found one, actually two. They call it pesto green and believe me when I say that that picture does not do it justice!

What to do? I am, at this moment, without a grill pan and it WOULD match a particularly attractive apple green Dutch oven that’s sitting on my baker’s rack... I certainly wouldn’t admit it here, but let’s just say that there is a chance that I could be grilling my own batch of tofu in a very special pan…sometime soon...(in 5-8 business days) IF I HAD ordered it…

Back to business, let’s discuss my unhappiness with Giada’s bean dip. I get that she’s trying to throw together a quick dip without a lot of fuss. But that doesn’t mean that it has to be a humdrum version of what it COULD be.

What’s Giada’s big crime? She commits probably my number one pet peeve in the kitchen. (I actually have about 50 number one pet peeves). Giada doesn’t cook the curry powder or the other warm spices she’s adding to the beans. She’s just cavalierly throwing the dry spices into the food processor.

I would add an additional, admittedly slightly time-consuming, step. Pour a bit of oil in a pan, soften a small onion in it and then add the curry powder, cumin and cayenne. Stir it over low heat for two minutes and add it to the food processor with the other ingredients for a spicy flavor that will taste fully developed and not raw.

One more thing…and I know this is just me. Typically, folks add twice as much curry powder as cumin to whatever they’re making. Giada doesn’t downplay the cumin as much as many others do. She uses 2 teaspoons of Madras curry powder and 1½ teaspoons of cumin. I would add even more - at least 2 teaspoons of cumin with the curry powder and cayenne to the cooked onions.

The finished dip looked fine, but you and I know it could have been so much better. I liked her homemade pita chips, but I might have jazzed them up a bit with a little chili powder added to the seasoning.

The recipes were pretty good this week, but the reminder of a certain pan that my kitchen lacked was particularly helpful. Thanks for the suggestion, Giada.

Note: Is it weird that the URL for Giada's bean dip says it's BOBBY FLAY'S recipe? http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/bobby-flay/curried-white-bean-dip-recipe/index.html

What's that about, I wonder?

Eataly Is Eatravagant, Eatceptional, Eatsquisite

Okay, so the name doesn’t really lend itself to a catchy title…I guess I should have settled for Eataly Is Impressive.

Actually, when a friend first told me about Eataly, the new Mario Batali/Lidia and Joe Bastianich/Oscar Farinetti Italian food emporium across from Madison Square Park in New York City’s Flatiron District, she had to repeat and then SPELL the name numerous times.

At first, I thought she was mocking an Italian accent, sort of how Giada would pronounce the country of her forebears, until I realized my friend was saying it that way on purpose.

I still think it’s a silly name, but when I visited Eataly last week, I saw that the name DOES capture what is inside the place.

Eataly is a boisterous riot of food, noise and activity in a cavernous, nearly 40,000 square foot space. The folks who came for lunch - and there were LOTS of them - were very brave. Tables are squeezed in areas amongst aisles of food, dry goods, kitchenware and wine with loads of people passing through at every juncture.

There are also counters to perch at and tall tables to stand by, while inhaling the most luscious cheeses and paper-thin pieces of prosciutto, presented on wooden boards. And of course, there are dozens of wines (all Italian) to choose from. There is also one very long line, thankfully with multiple cashiers. It’s well-organized in one area near the exit.

BTW, their website is a complete mess. I did discover that there are other Eataly’s in Italy and Japan, but if you didn’t know what Eataly was, you wouldn’t really figure it out from the website, which appears to have been translated directly from the Italian:

Eataly’s philosophy, in this sense, is dual: on one hand we find the products offer, under distribution form as well as restaurant opportunity, while on the other hand you find a speech based on didactics and articulated on cooking classes, tastings, on classes of foods’ correct conservation, didactics for children. Huh? Whatever.

Eataly is all about Italian food (and wine) in all its forms. You can buy ingredients to cook later or you can order pizza, seafood or other Italian dishes in the several restaurants and counter areas and eat there. Here are all the food and dining options at Eataly.

You can also do what most of us were doing on Friday afternoon - walk around in a trance and gape at the gorgeous displays, the huge selection AND the massive crowds.

One disappointment – Any prepared or prepackaged food that you buy from a non-restaurant food counter can NOT be eaten there. You either dine at one their eateries or you take it away, which seems positively un-American, although New Yorkers have no problem eating anything on the street. (I once saw two guys eating an entire pizza as they walked up 8th avenue.)

Whether you’re after authentic Italian sundries, beautiful cured meats, fresh crusty focaccia, vegetables, gelato, pastries, cheeses, wines sold by the glass or in a dedicated wine store, coffee, pasta or pizza, OR Italian housewares OR books (Rizzoli has a branch), you will find it in Eataly.

Oh wait, there’s more! A rooftop beer garden will open in November and a cooking school, La Scuola (The dean? Lidia Bastianich, of course), will open in October.

I bought beautiful barley and some gorgeous black Venere rice. (That link refers to a different brand than the Filiera Riso Venere sold at Eataly.)

I LOVE Forbidden Rice and this is the Italian version. The water turns the same stunning purple color before cooking as Forbidden Rice does and it cooks up to a rich, deep, inky color. It has great texture and it would be a fitting accompaniment to cold weather meat dishes or cooked into a lusty risotto.

Honestly, I would have been happy if they’d called it, “Lidia and Mario-land” or “Batali/Bastianich Vittles”. I suppose Eataly does describe the entire operation in one word, but whatever it’s called, if you love Italian food or drink, this is the place for you.

"Eataly"

Cablevision Customers – This Is What You Missed On Iron Chef America's Super Chef Battle

Part Two - Let The Judging Begin

Since there is no Chairman there, Alton gets to sit with the judges and taste the dishes. Kevin reminds us that the winning team gets $25,000 given to the charity of its choice.

Emeril says the White House garden was “strictly inspirational”. He says they wanted to focus as much on the “god-on” as they possibly could. Oh, I think he means “garden”.

Mario says, “Each dish will have one giant aria behind it and then a couple of high notes and low notes.” (Oh, I hope not.)

Mario And Emeril

Scallops With Radishes And Fennel Salad

THIS was the dish with the little icicle radishes cut to look like scallops. They were blanched (I think) and then sautéed, but some look a bit too sautéed…i.e. burned.

Mario says the base of the dish is a fennel soubise. How wonderful! When was the last time anyone made a soubise? AND I love the addition of fennel.

Nigella: “It looks like a garden.” Natalie: “I like the mixture of the raw fennel and the cooked fennel. The texture of the sauce (the soubise) is so lovely, nice and velvety. It’s beautiful.” Hmm, she sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.

Jane: ”I like the way you get fooled to think you’re eating more scallops and you get a vegetable.” Nigella: “Yes, it’s like a little food pun.”

Oyster and Salad Trio

The oysters are crusted three different ways and each is served with a different rémoulade – celery root, New Orleans style rémoulade and a red rémoulade with tomato and horseradish root. Okay, just give them the win right now.

Natalie: ”I love the combination of the freshness (from the salads) along with how rich the oysters are.” Jane didn’t care for the first oyster, but LOVED the last one. Whatever and harrumph!

Sweet Potato and Ricotta Raviolo

Mario: “The aria…is the sweet potato. The egg in the center is the surprise that becomes the sauce.“ Mario, you had me at sweet potato. He’s also using guanciale in the dish, which is the bacon made from the face of the pig. Okay, maybe that sounds kind of awful, but it looks amazing.

Jane: “Oh, my goodness me. This is not of this planet.”

The truffles are good says Nigella, but “the sweet potatoes are radically fantastic.” This sweet potato from the garden “had a lightness to it that…whispered its presence rather than really shouted it,” Nigella continues.

Alton asks if that’s because the flavor hasn’t been concentrated by the aging process. Nigella says exactly.

Duet of American Birds

They’ve prepared quail, marinated in White House honey with a touch of red wine and cider vinegar. Underneath the bird is a pear capanata and it’s served with a vincotto – unfermented grapes, using concord grapes.

The turkey is stuffed with the dirty rice. Emeril says it was fried first and then braised in homemade Worchester sauce. (Oh, I thought that was stock.) Emeril doesn’t mention that the turkey roulade was undercooked and that’s why it was braised at the end. Good for him! Never apologize!

Natalie: ”The acidity in the vinegar really cuts through the fat nicely.“ Nigella: “I like the musty taste of this wine sauce. It’s rather bright and deep.” Jane: “I like having the vegetables inside the bird too."

No one has commented on the liver in the dirty rice.

Nigella: “I like the way the vegetables have kept their bite.” Nigella likes that the vegetables in the stuffing are not “flabby”. Natalie and Jane like the quail more than the turkey. Nigella LOVES the vegetable stuffing in the turkey and they agree that both are wonderful, but that the turkey featured the vegetables more.

Sweet Carrot Beignets with Café Brulot

Mario says they took some of the beautiful White House carrots, grated and cooked them lightly and added them to the beignet batter and deep fried them. Mamma Mia, how crispy and luscious they look.

Mario asks Emeril to describe “the New Orleans tradition of hooched-up coffee.” Emeril says it’s from the late 1800’s and that the key is the orange peel, which has been studded with cloves. (Alton called it.) That peel is basted with brandy and orange liqueur while it’s flamed. Then chicoried coffee is poured overtop the alcoholic liquid.

The judges are invited to shake their little white paper bags to distribute the cinnamon sugar more evenly on the beignets and to dunk the beignets, if they wish, in the coffee. Jane says it tastes like fried carrot cake. Alton and Emeril agree that folks at home shouldn’t try this coffee preparation without chicory coffee.

Chicory coffee was very common in South Africa and I never liked it. It tastes like hay has been added to the coffee, but maybe with all that alcohol, it would be palatable.

Oy, five more dishes to come. I haven’t actually tasted a thing and my palate is tired. The second team to go is at a tremendous disadvantage unless the judges can come back the next day and taste.

Bobby And Cris

Bobby says he and Chef Comerford were determined to use as many vegetables as possible and make them the stars of the plate. He says when you pick your own vegetables, you’re much closer to them.

Bobby admits that the reason they almost didn’t finish is because they used SO many different vegetables and different techniques in cooking them.

Fennel and Apple Salad with Oyster

Natalie: “I absolutely love the play of the textures in the salad. The salad is really lovely.“

Fresh Garden Salad with Lobster

The sauce is made from fresh carrot juice, habanero chilies and star anise. It’s served with an agrodolce eggplant and the lobster and squid is dusted with rice flour and deep fried.

Nigella: ”The heat is there from the off, isn’t it?” Bobby acts like he understands what she means and agrees.

Jane: “This is so fresh, you can actually hear the bees buzzing around.” Nigella: “And the crispness is so great.”

Natalie: “This is really, really beautiful. I love the combination of the herbs and the vegetables.” Nigella says she wouldn’t have thought she would liked that much sweetness with the seafood, but she was won over by the heat and the freshness of the vegetables.

Broccoli Clam “Chowder”

They used broccoli as a base to do a spin on a clam chowder.

Natalie: “The color is so beautiful.” Nigella: ”A healthy chowder is a happy chowder.” Jane: ”It wasn’t actually my favorite. The potatoes weren’t cooked enough.” And she thought the green sauce was bland.

An American BBQ

They used seven different vegetables with pressure cooked barbecued pork, including a slaw, collard green tamales and cauliflower gratin. Plus they made watermelon radishes into pickles.

Nigella says cauliflower and cheese is a British dish. Jane loves making her own, but says Bobby’s version is unbelievably good.

Jane says who would ever want to have noodles, when you could have cauliflower? Alton says, “Hold on just a minute,” which is funny because his mac and cheese is number ONE on the Food Network’s Top 10 Dishes of 2009.

Natalie says this might be her favorite dish. I’m not sure if she meant the cauliflower and cheese or the entire dish.

Nigella: ”I have a certain sort of psychic problem with it”…in the same way she does with buffets. There’s too much to choose from and which thing should she try first? She says it didn’t come together for her as one dish.

Mario and Emeril are sooo going to win. Jane thought it was “an amazing celebration of the garden.”

Sweet Potato Tart with White House Honey

Cris says this is the coup de grace of their meal. It’s served with a ginger ice cream, which is milk infused with ginger and pineapple sage. (Mmm, neat.) Plus it has a caramel bourbon sauce and crème fraiche with molasses AND candied cranberries. Jane: ”Delicious combination.” Natalie: ”Really beautiful.”

After the chefs leave, Nigella says a highpoint was the potato covered oyster. Oh, yeah, what ever happened to that? It was in the salad, and the oyster was covered with the potato shreds and deep fried. Too good.

Nigella thought Emeril’s rémoulades had too much vinegar. Jane’s highlight was the raviolo. The low point was the chowder. Natalie’s favorite dish was the raviolo.

Nigella feels “a deep, deep envy for that garden.”

The Chairman comes back on video to thank the chefs. Alton announces the winners: Chef Comerford and Chef Flay. I am really surprised.

These were the scores:

Flay/Comerford

Taste 27

Plating 15

Originality 13

Batali/Lagasse

Taste 27

Plating 12

Originality 11

Citymeals on Wheels will get $25,000 on behalf of the winning team.

I think the powers that be just wanted to be invited back to the White House, so that team HAD to win.

We get more one commercial for the White House message of eating fresh and local. It ends. It was kind of anticlimactic. And I really thought Mario and Emeril took it.

What I AM left with is the vision of all those vibrant colors and textures coming together in gorgeous harmony. The purple cauliflower was stunning; the watermelon radishes were show-stopping; and the chefs’ imaginations in dealing with this divine produce was inspiring. I really have to make a soubise again one of these days and I just may add some fennel to it. Brilliant idea.

Cablevision Customers – This Is What You Missed On Iron Chef America's Super Chef Battle - Super Fresh Vegetables And Just A Touch Of Mario’s Spit

Part One - The Chefs Gather and Cook

Alton is not my favorite, but I thought he was charming at the beginning of Iron Chef America - Super Chef Battle.

He stands by the reflecting pool in front of the Lincoln Memorial in DC waiting for his orders. A secret service type guy hands him a dark folder with instructions. An envelope says Open Later and there’s a video device with a message from the Chairman. It tells Alton to report to the place of work of one of the combatants - 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Kind of cool.

Alton gets into the back of a black car and is sped through town and then let out. He’s across the street from the White House. He says he THOUGHT it sounded familiar.

Oh my. There’s Mario in his very orange clogs AND socks strolling across, well, actually marching across, the lawn of the White House with Bobby and Emeril. (Bobby is looking quite trim these days. He’s hot. Are socks and clogs proper White House attire? I guess if you're Mario, then yes.)

There’s a quick interview with Bobby telling us, “It’s a lot to take in….It’s the White House.”

Alton is greeted by White House Chef Cristeta Comerford (with an absolutely gorgeous haircut, by the way). He says he doesn’t quite know why he’s there.

Mario says he doesn’t know what the chairman has in store, but he assumes it’s official government business. I’m loving this. They are not dropping their this-is-as-serious-as-all-get-out attitude for even a second.

Emeril tells us he cooked in the White House a long time ago. That doesn’t surprise me. Heck! He should have his own monument somewhere in Washington as a culinary hero to millions.

The chefs and Alton stand on the driveway, when the First Lady comes striding out. She’s wearing a lovely orange dress (meant to coordinate with Mario’s footwear?) with a baby blue sweater emblazoned with a bright orange poppy (pin?).

Mrs. Obama welcomes them and says she want them all to be a part of spreading the message about healthy eating.

The First Lady reveals with much fanfare (well, actually, a bit of dramatic music was about all there was) that their secret ingredient is…ANYTHING from the White House Garden.

That’s exciting, but not terribly taxing for these grand chefs. How about saying their dishes have to be less than 300 calories or they have to make a replica of the White House with chervil? No? The chefs nod in approval. Of course, they do. THIS is easy.

Bobby needs MORE from the first lady. (I told you this was too easy.) He says if there was an ingredient he should NOT pass up, what would that be? Without hesitating, she says sweet potatoes. Hmmm, veddy interesting.

She bids them farewell and Alton takes the note from the Chairman out of his pocket. He tells them who they’re paired with. Bobby is with Chef Comerford. Mario and Emeril are together. And the Chairmen tells them that more surprises await them in Kitchen Stadium.

They go to the garden to gather their ingredients. WOW, that is one amazing looking garden. It looks Martha Steward-esque. Really gorgeous.

Alton tells them to tread lightly. (WHY isn’t he bothering me today? Maybe I like that he seems to understand the import of the occasion.)

There are tomatillos too??! Mario predicts Bobby will heading for those. He tells us there’s a defensive way to go vegetable picking. He and Emeril grab the cauliflower before Bobby, as well as anything else they think Bobby could use to his advantage.

They finish gathering their vegetables. Alton pronounces, “A hungry nation awaits the fruits of your culinary labors.” This false pomposity is so right up my alley.

Cris tells us that when the three chefs were at the White House they were in awe of everything that they saw. She says that’s the same way she felt when she walked into kitchen stadium – completely awed.

Back at Kitchen Stadium, Alton, tuxedo-ed now, introduces the Chairman…on video. He says,” I challenge you to create a meal that makes America go MMMM!!!

The Chairman continues, “Let the battle begin,” as the table is uncovered, revealing EVERY type of protein they could want - all produced sustainably within 100 miles of Kitchen Stadium – scallops, pig, cheese, heritage turkeys (watch out, they can be dry, says one of my favorite bloggers), pork shoulders, blue point oysters, bay scallops, goat cheese and eggs. There’s also a special cider vinegar AND honey from the White House beehive.

The chefs must create 5 dishes, with each dish highlighting an ingredient from the White House garden. The Chairman continues (on video tape), “These meals must inspire America to eat fresh, to eat local, in short to eat well.”

Close-up of Emeril thinking, “There go the beignets!”

No Chairman there, so it’s left to Alton to say, “Allez Cuisine!” The chefs run to select their proteins from the “altar”.

Kevin Brauch joins Alton, and so does Ted Allen, to help with the blow by blow of the action. Mario tells us that he and Emeril have decided to do two dishes each and then a collaborative dish. Emeril tells us that Mario brings a solid foundation of Italy and he hopes to bring a bit of New Orleans.

This is interesting. Chef Comerford is splitting sweet potatoes in half lengthwise and putting them on a baking sheet, lined with Silpat. Hmm.

I have never baked sweet potatoes like that and I never thought to use Silpat. I don’t love Silpat, but it would cut down on the foil I normally use to line baking sheets.

Bobby appears to be making a barbecue sauce.

Chef Comerford adds cinnamon sticks, a little butter and lemon halves to the sweet potatoes, before they go into the oven to roast. There’s star anise too, Alton says. (Why does she have to ruin it?)

Tommy Kurpradit, from the White House, is Bobby and Cris’s sous chef. He’s adding tons of the cider vinegar to collard greens, before pressure cooking them. Is that normal…to cook collard greens in vinegar? I’ve never seen that before.

Emeril is processing an interesting looking mixture of chicken livers, onions, scallions and hot sauce.

Ooh, there’s Anne Burrell sous-chefing for Mario and Emeril. She’s making pasta dough…by hand.

Mario is butterflying the breast from the heritage turkey. I hope has a better time rolling it up than I did.

Bobby is juicing some mangoes. OH, I LOVE that idea. I have NEVER juiced a mango. I just eat them, but how delicious that would be in THESE recipes, for instance!

(By the way, this mango barbecue sauce is amazing and served with the coconut sauce, it’s heaven. I may substitute some mango juice for the coconut milk in the coconut curry sauce. And I never use low fat coconut milk here or, actually, anywhere. It’s nasty. Use real coconut milk and just cut down on the amount, using stock or juice for the rest.)

Bobby says he’s also using carrots from the garden. Did he mean that he was juicing the carrots too? Can you imagine how awesome that would be – carrot and mango juice? I might add a thick slice of ginger too. I don’t even care what he’s making. I love these juicing ideas.

Kevin introduces the judges. Nigella is one of them. Oh goodie! She looks beautiful in a black décolletage-baring dress. Jane Seymour is next. Last is Natalie Coughlin, Olympic swimmer with 11 medals (3 gold). That’s great if we were judging backstrokes (or whatever she swims), but this is the Iron Chef.

I’m wondering why there is only one food professional. I guess if the Chairman couldn’t even make it, maybe this was a busy time for foodies.

Emeril adds that puréed liver mixture to rice. Alton predicts that will become a dirty rice. Bobby uses White House cherry tomatoes. Chef Comerford appears to be handling the sweets. Mario is chopping icicle radishes, which apparently get sweeter as they cook.

Okay, we have to do a fast forward, there IS 2 hours of this after all.

There’s a commercial for this FN show about the worst cooks in America. I’m not sure if that’s such a clever idea, since many people believe that some of the current FN hosts could fit that category. It’s probably best not to draw attention to all the bad cooking on the Food Network, with a show that actually highlights it.

OH! Anne tells us she’s using carrots in a beignet, so I guess they just couldn’t resist making them.

Nigella thinks the icicle radishes are poetic. Alrighty then. Jane, speaking with great authority, I’m being serious actually, says nothing tastes as good as something just picked from a garden. Ted asks Natalie how she would do in this cooking setting. She says these chefs are ridiculously accomplished, doing as much as they’re doing in such a short time. She actually sounds okay.

Holding the honey jar a full arm’s length away from the tabletop, Mario drizzles honey over the quail. Alton describes is as “busting a Super Chef move.”

Chicory coffee is being brewed. Tommy, on the other side, is making ice cream. As Chef Comerford is RUSHING around, Ted asks her how this compares with cooking for the leaders of the world. She says it’s a different kind of pressure, but pressure nonetheless. You want to do your best, she says, and have everything that you planned for work for you.

Emeril is adding ingredients - Creole mustard, mayonnaise, celery root, green peppers, onions and ketchup - to a food processor for a rémoulade sauce. (YUM!)

Mario is adding sweet potatoes to the local goat cheese and ricotta mixture for raviolo.

This will be an amazing array of dishes. I just can’t figure out what why its going to take another hour and a half.

I like this dish of Chef Comerford. She’s shredded potatoes and put little flat piles of them on plastic wrap. Then she adds a small spoonful of scallop mousse on top and then an oyster. We’re not sure how it will be cooked.

Emeril is actually making 3 different rémoulades. I could eat just that.

YUCK! I’m not happy with THIS. Mario mixes the raviolo filling with a spoon, gives Emeril a taste, PUTS THE SPOON BACK IN, tastes it himself and PUTS THE SPOON BACK IN AGAIN. So, in fact, the judges will be getting Mario’s (and Emeril’s) saliva in their dish.

One reason this is taking so long is that after each commercial, Alton gives us a rehash of why we’re here today and what they’re doing. We GET that the ingredients are from the White House garden.

The beautiful turkey breasts are being stuffed with Emeril’s dirty rice and the collard greens. He’s rolling it up and having a much easier time rolling and trussing than I did on Christmas. Emeril is deep frying the turkey roulade. I wish they had shown the rolling more.

Mario is making a caponata with pears in place of the eggplant.

Mario opens a jar for Emeril and says he’s cooked with Emeril a lot at different events, but never anything that was judged.

They only have 30 minutes left and there’s still so much to do.

Bobby tells us he told Chef Comerford not to be afraid to use her Filipino influence, because those flavors are wonderful. She’s making a mixture of broccoli, lemongrass, butter, ginger and garlic. Interesting.

Emeril takes out the roulade and it looks way overcooked. BUT it stayed together, which is the part I’m impressed with.

Emeril takes its temperature and it’s only 110°F or 115°F, which is way below the 160°F or 165°F it should be. Maybe all is not lost. I suppose the oil was too hot and the outside got too brown too fast. To finish the cooking, he puts the browned turkey roulade into a big sauté pan and pours over what looks to be hot stock. He wants to braise it to doneness.

Bobby moves on to his collard green tamales.

Alton thinks Emeril is going to fry oysters and then serve them with 3 different rémoulades.

Kevin Brauch visits with some VIP visitors to Kitchen Stadium. They’re all in chef’s whites. The Assistant White House Chef, Sam Kass, is there. Kevin reminds us that this is the first White House Garden since Eleanor Roosevelt’s Victory Garden. Chef Kass says they’ve already taken out more than a thousand pounds of food. WOW, that is impressive.

(The Clintons wanted to plant a vegetable garden, but were told that it wasn’t in keeping with the formal nature of the White House grounds. They grew some vegetables in a rooftop garden.)

We learn that the winning team will receive a $25,000 dollar donation to the charity of its choice.

The ice cream turns out to be ginger. Fantastic!

Kevin talks with the Executive Pastry Chef of the White House, Bill Yosses. Can you imagine living in a house where there’s someone who could make palmiers at a moment's notice? Chef Yosses says they’re using a lot of the honey in the desserts nowadays, instead of refined sugar.

Emeril is "making the oysters happy" by marinating them in buttermilk and Creole seasoning. Mario is wrapping thin slices of lardo around the honey marinated quall. I like just saying that.

Emeril is sticking cloves into a LONG strip of orange peel. Alton immediately figures out that the beignets will be served with a café brulot, which will be flavored with that long orange peel strand. Alton cannot wait to see Emeril put it together – the first time ever in kitchen stadium. Hot diggity dog, Alton says.

Chef Comerford is beating the sweet potato purée in a KitchenAid with other flavorings. Far be from me to comment on the chef's methods, but I have NEVER NOT put sweet potatoes through a food mill. It has stringy bits. It worries me that she didn’t do that.

Tommy is having a huge problem rolling out the dough for the sweet potato tarts. It was so cold when it came out of the fridge, that he had to beat it down to soften it. That’s why I ALWAYS roll dough between plastic wrap, right after it’s made and THEN refrigerate it, contrary to every pastry chef in the universe.

13 1/2 minutes and the ice cream machine is JUST being filled up on Bobby’s side. Bobby is beginning to plate with 11 minutes left. There ain’t no way either team is going to be finished. The sweet potato tarts still aren't in the oven with 10 minutes to go.

Emeril slices the turkey. It looks beautiful.

There is no way Bobby's tamales or Cris's sweet potato tarts will be ready.

This food looks so fresh, so complex, so pretty. I want to go to THAT restaurant.

Chef Comerford put meringue on top of the sweet potato tarts and puts them under the salamander. There are only FOUR minutes left! They’re quenelle-ing the ice cream with 60 seconds to go!

It’s over! All the chefs hug.