Top Chef Masters – And Then There Were Four; No, Three

Top Chef Masters - Improv

I admit that the only reason I watched Top Chef this week was to make sure that Jonathan didn’t go home. Well, maybe I should have watched my Tivo’ed version of the Housewives instead.

It wasn’t a bad episode and it had decent challenges, except Jonathan got royally screwed when the theme of his Elimination Challenge dish was Depression, Burnt Sienna and Avocado. He acquitted himself admirably, I thought, with Mesquite Grilled Chicken Breast, French Fries, Yams & Avocado with Grapefruit - a meal Jonathan thought would get anyone out of a depressed mood.

On to the judging. Susur is told first that he’s through to the finale. His final score is 17. Marcus is next. His scores? 4½, 4½ 4½, plus 4 stars for a total of 17½. Marcus wins. They’re all happy for him. He and Susur are excused to the kitchen.

Oy, this is not good. Jonathan is going home, I feel it.

Commercial. Of course, there is.

I’m not feeling good for Jonathan. Scores? Jonathan gets 3, 3 and 2½ stars from James. That’s it. James screwed him. I really think that, for whatever reason, James never got Jonathan. Maybe Jonathan is too comfortable in his own skin and that threatens James…(just saying).

Wait, luckily the diners give him 3 stars for a total of 11½. Oh, but there is NO way he can beat Rick and make it to the final. I’m so mad. He got such a yucky bunch of words to cook from.

Alright, let’s hear Rick’s scores. 3, 3½ (OY!!!), then 3½ stars. He needs 2 more stars to beat Jonathan. Of course, he’ll get that. The diners give him 3½ stars. Woe is Jonathan. Woe is me.

Rick is lovely as he says he has such mixed emotions about making it to the final without Jonathan, whom he loves. Oh gosh, where’s the Kleenex?

Jonathan says the saddest part is leaving his fellow chefs. He says he adores Rick. I guess I’m not surprised that he got eliminated, but I am sad.

Now I don’t feel at all invested in the finale. Oh, wait a sec, I may have spoken too soon…Is that MC in the preview of the finale, during the final judging? Gosh, he looks handsome.

Well, alright, I may watch because of that, but I really want to lodge a protest about Jonathan not being judged fairly. James always seemed to rate him harshly and particularly low. I’m so deeply disappointed that my guy got sent home. But I guess you pays your money and you takes your chances.

Jonathan was a lot of fun to watch all these weeks, even though I would have liked to have seen him slay the final dragon. Would that have been his competitors or a certain judge? I’m not sure.

Top Chef Masters Is Coming Back For Another Season

Yippee!

Kelly Choi will be back and they’re keeping the same three judges, Gael Greene, James Oseland and Jay Rayner, with Gail Simmons joining the panel.

The only thing I’m sorry about? I’m guessing they’ll have all new chefs and my fav has already been a finalist.

Top Chef Masters - Who Reigned Supreme?

I feel good about the finale, because I like all of the finalists and LOVE at least one of them.

Rick, Hubert and MC are in a car going to the coast. They have no idea where they’re going. They arrive at The Getty Villa. It’s beautiful. Michael says the better the view, the tougher the challenge.

Kelly greets them in front of a beautiful pool. She congratulates them for getting this far and tells them this week it’s all about history, THEIR history as chefs. They will create the meal of THEIR lifetime -“Create a series of dishes based on your career as a chef.” Fabulous.

No tricks, no practical jokes, just fantastic cooking (so far). And how wonderful that each chef has such a distinct “culinary point of view” (to quote another food show) and that they are able to cook from their strength, rather than in a dorm room shower, as Hubert did when he rinsed the pasta.

The first dish, Kelly continues, should be inspired by their first food memory. They all like the idea A LOT. The second dish will be from the experience that made them decide to become a chef.

Rick tells us this doesn’t even feel like this is a challenge, but like something he’d love the opportunity to do anyway. MC has lots of ideas cooking.

The third dish should reflect the opening of their first restaurant. The final dish should represent where they’ll be heading in the future.

What a lovely challenge. Let’s hope they don’t ruin it with some dumb twist like having to do each other’s recipes. Or being blindfolded or cooking with one hand. Wait, they’ve already done those.

“Essentially, you’re on Biography with four dishes,” Kelly concludes. Michael says, “It’s a sweet spot for me. I’m a storyteller. I own each and every one of those emotions in my heart.” Awww, I like this…

We learn that the Top Chef judges will be joining the critics as will all five winners of Top Chef. And really is there absolutely no hokiness, no tricks, no trompe l'oeil? Could this be true?

The chefs sit and enjoy a beautiful meal laid out for them in the gorgeous poolside area, while they talk about they are going to do. Hubert says his memory is from Alsace, where he lived over his parent’s pastry shop.

Hubert

1st course - “First Food Memory”

Baeckeoffe: Alsatian Lamb, Beef, Pork & Potato Stew

Hubert tells us that Monday was laundry day (down by the river) and that the town women didn’t have time to cook that day. Hubert’s father (the baker) would put 40 of these stews in his shop's oven for the ladies, so they would have a meal ready when they were finished doing their washing.

Rick

1st course - “First Food Memory”

Barbecued Smoked Quail With Hickory House Sauce, “Sour’ Slaw & Watermelon Salad

Rick thought barbecue sauce ran through his veins for the first 15 years of his life, because of his parents’ barbecue restaurant in Texas.

Michael

1st course - “First Food Memory”

Crispy Potato Gnocchi With Fonduta & Ricotta Gnocchi With Tomato Sauce

He remembers making gnocchi with his mother, standing up on a box to reach the counter. He says chefs tell stories through food.

I am NOT saying I feel this way, but I can see how MC-detractors would (perhaps) liken Michael’s constant reference to storytelling to Jeffrey’s “Cooking Without Borders” mantra. NOT that they belong in the same sentence…but I’m just saying.

Rick says it’s the story of his life on a plate. Hubert says memories are one thing, but they have to pull off the dishes.

They go shopping. Michael says he’s scrappy and that Rick’s Mexican food is amazing and Hubert is a master technician.

Hubert spends over a thousand dollars. We don’t hear what the others spend.

They have five hours to cook.

Rick says his biggest challenge is his second dish, which he remembers from a trip to Mexico when he was 14. It has 27 different ingredients and challenging cooking techniques.

Rick

2^nd course - “Becoming A Chef”

Ahi Tuna With Oaxacan Black Mole, Plantain Tamale & Grilled Nopales

Michael

2^nd course - “Becoming A Chef”

Polenta With Rabbit, Asparagus & Wild Mushroom, Grilled Duck & Rabbit Liver Spiedini

MC says his family loved to go mushroom hunting and they might see a rabbit and that would become the evening meal.

Hubert

2^nd course - “Becoming A Chef”

Salmon Soufflé, Royal Osetra Caviar & Riesling Sauce, Choucroute Flan

Hubert did his apprenticeship at L’Auberge d’Ile. He tells us that it’s the only 3 star restaurant in that part of France and that he first tasted this dish there. “One day I will learn how to make it.” It was a proud day when he did.

Michael says he wants to win the money for Latino immigrants and since his family also came to the United States as immigrants, it would be an honor to give back to Clinica Ole. Rick says anyone could win.

They come back the next day with 2½ hours to prep. Oy! Rick finds a note saying they have one final surprise for them. They have to watch a video. Hubert’s sous chef, Laurent Pillard, is there wishing him good luck. Nick Ritchie, Michael’s sous chef gives him a message. Brian Enyart, Rick’s sous chef, is so excited Rick is in the finals. THEN the doors open and all three walk in. (These guys are sous chefs for this challenge, but they are the Master Chefs’ chefs de cuisine in real life.) Hubert is totally surprised. That’s nice. Michael asks who’s running the restaurant?

Michael

3^rd course - “First Restaurant Opening”

Whole Fried Ginger Stuffed Marinated Rouget, Mango Salad, Fresh Wasabi & Bottarga

This was a dish from 1984 from a progressive new American restaurant in Miami, Toby’s. It was Michael’s first chef job (I think he said). Food and Wine Magazine named him Chef Of The Year in 1985.

Rick

3^rd course - “First Restaurant Opening”

Achiote-Marinated Cochinita Pibil With Sunchoke Purée, Crispy Pig’s Feet & Pickled Red Onion

In 1987, Rick and his wife opened La Frontera on a shoestring and he picked a dish from that time. This pork dish is so complex it’s difficult to tell you even what’s in it or how it’s made. It looks like squares of pressed-down meat chunks, fried in lard(?)

Hubert

3^rd course - “First Restaurant Opening”

Colorado Lamb Chop With Vegetable Mousseline & Blanched Garlic, Vanilla-Merlot Sauce

Hubert brings out the big guns – HUGE black truffles. He tells us he and his wife opened Fleur de Lys 23 years ago in SF. (Rick says truffles are just expensive, not special.)

He embeds a garlic clove in the center of the lamb. Hubert says he blanches the garlic cloves in 3 different changes of water to take away any bitterness.

Rick is really passionate about winning for his organization, Frontera Farmer Foundation.

Michael

4^th course - “Where You’re Heading As A Chef”

Brined Short Ribs With 5 Onion Cavalo Nero & Essence Of Smoldering Vines

Michael is using the smoldering vines from his vineyard. That says something about “the style of life from Napa Valley”, NAPA STYLE (get it?) and putting that concept on the plate.

Rick

4^th course - “Where You’re Heading As A Chef”

Arroz A La Tumbada With Lobster, Crab, Squid, Mussels & Shrimp, Tomato-Jalapeño Broth & Chorizo “Air”

Rick says this represents a new stage in his life. He takes dishes apart and puts them back together in a different way. His sous chef appears to have overcooked his seafood. That makes Rick rather discouraged.

I was just thinking his food is so complex, he really could win, but now we have a hint that there may be problems. I’m still going to say Hubert will win. But I think these are going to be three rather fantastic meals.

Hubert

4^th course - “Where You’re Heading As A Chef”

Pan-Seared Sweetbreads With Perigord Truffles On Scrambled Eggs & Spinach, Braised Wagyu Beef Cheeks & Celery Purée With Pinot Noir, Lemongrass & Ginger Sauce

Hubert thinks the future is cooking and serving affordable cuts of meat in this recession. I love Hubert speaking French to his sous chef.

Michael says that James from Saveur has often challenged his food during Top Chef Masters. MC takes pictures from Saveur and burns the edges. He uses them as doilies.

On to the actual tasting. Kelly is kinda gorgeous as she introduces the critics, the Top Chef judges and all the former Top Chef winners - Hung, Harold, Ilan, Hosea (ugh!) and Stephanie. Could Kelly be more stunning than Padma? Just maybe, but we have no idea what Kelly knows about food.

1st course

They love Michael’s gnocchi. Tom says his mother was Calabrese like MC’s family and he likes HIS family’s sauce, but that this one is great too. “Really well made.”

James says Hubert’s stew looks awesome, “You feel he’s been cooking this stew since he was a child.” Tom: “Wonderful.”

About Rick’s quail, “The barbecue sauce rocks.” Gael loves the sprouts. Hosea says as a food memory that would probably be his favorite. What does that mean? And what does HE know anyway?

2^nd course

Rick says it’s taken 20 years for him to know how to make the mole properly.

Of Michael’s polenta, Hosea says it’s amazing. (Okay, so he gets one thing right.) Gail says there’s “a primalness” to it and she wants to bathe in it. (Alrighty then…) Jay says, “I could spoon that away until the cows came home, milk the cows and gone back for more.”

They love the mousseline sauce on Hubert’s salmon. Ilan or Harold (I don’t know the difference) is amazed by it and it makes whoever it is want to learn more about French cuisine.

About Rick’s mole, James says it’s very good. Gale: “I’ve never eaten mole so good.” James: “You can almost taste everyone of those 15 or 10 or 21 ingredients.” Tom: “If this is what inspired him to cook Mexican food, then it’s brilliant.”

3^rd course

MC’s rouget: They love the crunch of the fish, but some Top Chef winner guy says it’s one dimensional.

Hung says Hubert’s lamb is cooked perfectly, as well as everything else. Tom does not like the “raw” garlic. Hubert told us it was blanched. Padma says there is a little too much vanilla and it is too much “reminiscent of a dessert” for her. Oh good, so maybe Michael can pull it out OR Rick will triumph. Hmmm.

Hosea: “Rick is speaking my language here.” Gael says the sunchoke purée is much more sophisticated than she thought it would be. Padma says we don’t think of Mexican food as being sophisticated but there is nothing unsophisticated about Rick’s food.

4^th course

Rick says his tumbado is like “a soupy paella”, with all different kinds of seafood.

Michael says the old part of the dish is the short ribs and the new Michael is looking to tell stories with food, so he uses Cabernet cuttings to give you “a walk through the air of the wine inside the sauce”. Okay, maybe I heard that wrong, but I get what he meant.

Jay doesn’t love Rick’s Tumbado: “This is not Rick’s greatest dish, which is summed up by the foam, which is like elderly granny at a wedding putting on a spandex hot pants suit.” Okay, we get it, he feels it’s an old-fashioned preparation trying too hard to be modern.

Tom likes it, but thinks it suffered after having to get 12 plates out of the kitchen. He says the mussel is dried out.

James says Michael’s short ribs are really good.

Padma says, “Michael just stole my heart and ran away with it.” WAIT JUST ONE COTTON PICKIN’ SECOND, PADMA! HE’S MINE. Okay, so at the beginning of this post, I didn’t think he would win, but I CHANGE MY MIND!!!

IT’S MICHAEL ALL THE WAY AND I CAN’T BELIEVE HE (and I) CAME THIS FAR AND doubted him. Forgive me, Michael. I don’t doubt him now. He’s going to bring it on home.

Ilan (Harold?): “I love the little basil on top and the sauce.” Jay bought into the whole story-telling thing, “He’s the preeminent story teller that we’ve come across. EVERYTHING has a story.” I think I’m in love all over again. Michael says whoever wins they’ll split it. Rick agrees. Really?!!

The critics are impressed by the amount of truffles in Hubert’s dish. But do they like it? Harold (Ilan?): “I thought the sweetbread was super undercooked.” James: “MY sweetbread was FINE!”

Tom: “All in all, (this was) an embarrassment of riches.” The critics leave, while the diners fill out the cards.

I think it’s Michael. I think it’s Michael. I think it’s Michael.

I got an email from him reminding me to watch this week. Why would he have sent that out if he hadn’t won? And the one week he was kind of pissy, there was no email alert.

The chefs appear in front of the critics.

Jay says to Michael, “Wow, what a piece of braised beef that was!” James: “I really appreciate the spare confidence with which you presented the dish.” Hubert looks worried. Michael says it’s a very complicated preparation, presented very simply. Jay: “There was a lot of cooking on that plate.” Gael: “Mine was perfection, amazing.” MC looks pleased, actually he says he’s ecstatic.

They do, however, have questions about the rouget. James says it may have been too literal an interpretation of the dish he did all those years ago. I thought it actually WAS the SAME dish. Jay asks about the power of the olive oil in the mango salad. Oh Puleez! Just give him the trophy and let’s crack open the champers. Michael explains that the mango salad wasn’t meant to stand alone.

On to Hubert’s stew – James: “I thought the dish was stunning… all that great fragrance”. Hubert says it is a homey dish and the smell of it fills up the whole house. Gael wants to know if, when he took it out of the oven, it brought back memories. Hubert answers, “Right away, it did.” Jay: “I loved it. It was dense and rich and luscious.”

Hubert explains that in the lamb dish, you blanch the garlic three times and when you’re eating it you barely know it’s there. Jay looks amazed. James says it was surprising to learn it was blanched that many times and that his piece was verging on raw. Kelly says the sauce has too much vanilla. Hubert says it was a risk. James does say Hubert was challenging his palate.

They get to Rick’s food and uh-oh! Gael says she’s prejudiced against air. James says the seafood was a bit overcooked. Rick looks crestfallen, but then James says HATS OFF TO YOU (he kinda yells it) for trying to take this homey classic someplace else.

Jay says Rick’s mole is “the most extraordinary dish. You can’t quite identify what it is, but it’s everything at the same time.”

Rick looks so happy and thrilled. Gael says it worked for her and that she was shivering all over from that dish. I’ll have what she’s having. James: “The tamales were killer.”

Jay: “I lost my mole virginity”. Hey, hold it! I don’t wanna hear THAT…from HIM! I hope he doesn’t mean he never had mole before. What is he doing judging Top Chef?

The chefs go wait in the kitchen. The critics discuss not loving Michael’s rouget. They say Hubert went right to the mother lode of his childhood, but the soufflé wasn’t quite there, even though the salmon was perfectly cooked. Gael thinks the lamb was extraordinary, but the garlic was too raw. James: “You feel so safe when Hubert is cooking for you.” Does he want a daddy or dinner?

Jay says, “Rick took us to the place that has basically inspired everything he has ever done since.” Gael: “It’s only when he tells you that its taken him 20 years to perfect that sauce that you realize how complex that dish it.” Jay wants to just make “guttural noises” to express his pleasure. They didn’t like Rick’s seafood stew, but Jay says Rick did show them that you can put chorizo and seafood together. He showed how layers of flavor work.

Back in the kitchen, Rick tells Hubert and Michael that it was a pleasure to cook with them. They all agree. MC says next time he’d like to do it without the cameras or the clocks.

After the break they show shocking results of the poll on who should win: Hubert 42%; Michael 15%; Rick 43%. That is only because Michael had that one little spate of being a tad difficult and know-nothings think that completely defines him. AND he was absolutely right to ask the chefs to show him their chopping skills. So there!

And the results:

Hubert

Diners 4

James 4½

Gael 4

Jay 4

Total 16 1/2

Michael

Diners 4½

James 3½

Gael 4½

Jay 4½

Total 17

Hubert is NOT the winner. THAT would have been a surprise last week.

Rick

Diners 4½

James 4½

Gael 4½

Jay 4½

Total 18

Rick wins. I’m surprised…not shocked…but surprised. He gets hugs from his fellow chefs. He’s thrilled because he has says he has no formal training. Hubert is happy because he’s walking away with the $20,000. (What happened to splitting it?) Rick says his father was a pit master and now HE’S a Top Chef Master. He’s such a nice guy, you can’t help but be delighted for him.

If editing is everything, they certainly led us to believe that Michael was going to win at first. Then they switched that to make us believe that Hubert had the inside track to winning. THEN during THIS episode, they absolutely contrived the editing to make it look like Michael had it. When Padma had palpitations over his food, it was clear he would triumph, as it was clear from Gael’s remarks about being fed up with foam that Rick would lose.

What we saw at the dining table was not reflected by what we heard at critics table. The critics gave far higher marks than one would have expected from their comments. I don’t disagree with their choice, but just as the challenge itself had no ridiculous dumb twists and turns (just for the sake of drama or p’ing off the chefs), so the final result shouldn’t have looked like a huge surprise. In a way, that denigrates Rick’s incredible meal. If they felt his masterful mole was really the tour de force of the night, they should have made that clear throughout.

Ah, but these are small points. I loved Top Chef Masters. I loved seeing chefs I admire in different, sometimes crazy, situations. I wish MC hadn’t had a momentary meltdown, just because folks that were not acquainted with him now may have a bad impression of him. But, overall, it was a great concept and a great show. Regular Top Chef can’t be anything but a disappointment after this.

Top Chef – Hubert Gets Kinky, Rick Is A Sweetie, Anita’s Fish Are Suspect And A Defense Of Michael - YEAH! That’s what I said! Wanna fight about it?!

I admit I’m a little concerned. Michael Chiarello didn’t send out a little note urging us to watch the latest Top Chef Masters. I’m hoping that doesn’t mean anything.

The chefs enter the kitchen and Kelly reminds them that this is their last Quickfire Challenge. It is? I forgot that the final has 3 chefs in it. I’m going to miss this series of Top Chef when it’s over and, in particular, my Michael.

The Quickfire is again one from a previous Top Chef. They have to taste and identify 20 things blindfolded (that IS kind of gross and goes against everything that my mother always warned me about).

Hubert is worried, because he says zat a chef eets first with his eyes. Kelly says someone or other won when she identified an umeboshi plum. Michael laughs and says to his fellow chefs, “I’ve never even HEARD of it.” Rick is relieved he doesn’t have to come up with a dish in 30 minutes. Anita admits that last week it could have been her as easily as Art chosen to go.

MC goes first. He does abysmally. How could he not know what hoisin sauce tastes like? And he does equally badly with any other Asian ingredient. He admits he works with “a narrow scope of ingredients”. This may be bad news for Mikie. Oy!

Hubert a little kinky? Yup, when he says “Kelly putting the blindfold on me… that was probably the best part of the challenge.” He seems to be doing pretty well.

Even Anita misses the hoisin sauce, by the way.

The results: Hubert guessed 5 correctly which gave him 3½ stars; Rick and Anita both guessed 6 right. They get 4 stars. And Michael? He wins by guessing 7 correctly. He receives FIVE stars! Yay!!!

Kelly says being a chef means hiring the right staff and they’ll be provided with some sous-chefs to help them. They get to choose among 12 former contestants and they have to cater a lunch the next day for 200 people. The chefs are allowed to interview each sous-chef for 2 minutes before they make their selections.

Michael has the brilliant idea of asking each chef to chop for him. SO smart. Wait a sec. He IS coming off a bit hard-bitten. Jamie is scared by him.

Rick and Hubert are all palsy-walsy with the chefs. Rick wants to know what their experience is with Mexican food. Hubert wants to know about French food and pastry experience. Anita likes Jamie, because she used to work for him.

Michael keeps asking the chefs to demonstrate their chopping. Fabio is there. THAT’S nice. He says, ”I can tell this dude is Italian, ‘cause he’s making everybody running around him like chicken with no head.” Michael's busy ordering the chefs to do a brunoise out of batons.

Spike is giving MC a hard time about dicing. Spike assures him that he knows how to do it. Mike tells us that there he is no way he’d pick Spike.

Wow, this is a different side to Michael. We’ve only seen him as a host and fantastic chef so far. We’ve never seen him as a boss. MC then asks every chef what his (Michael’s) name is. Is he testing them to say Chiarello correctly or does he want them to say chef? A little of both it looks like. Richard Blaise, molecular gastronomy guy, says Michael is really annoying.

The chefs get to pick their sous-chefs in rounds. Betty says everyone loves Chef Hubert Keller and wants to be with him and no one wants to be with Michael Chiarello. She mispronounces his name. See? He was right to test them.

Michael gets to pick first. He picks Fabio. Rick picks Richard. Anita picks Jamie. Hubert picks Antonia first. Betty is picked second to last. And Spike is completely last. Spike says he’s not bothered. He says obviously the chefs didn’t want him to outshine them. Yeah, sure, Spike, keep thinking that.

Rick and Hubert ask the opinions of the sous-chefs in what to make. They’re so nice. What a pair of Goodie-Two-Shoes…Just kidding. Michael TELLS his sous-chefs what to do. He says he doesn’t have time to get to know them, culinarily speaking.

2 members of each team go to Whole Foods and the others go to Restaurant Depot. They get back to the kitchen and they have 3½ hours to prep. Everyone but Michael rushes to cram their stuff in the fridge. Michael calls Dale “Young Man” as he’s telling him to make room in the fridge. Dale takes issue with that. “For the first 20 years of my career, I ate 3 Dales for breakfast. He is way out of his league.” Dale gets in his face and we don’t actually see what happens. It's kind of anticlimactic, but I guess Michael walked away.

Hubert says he likes to mentor his employees and that Michael has a different approach. Michael says (to us), “I want to get in the finals, damn it.”

I feel ambivalent here. I suppose it’s true that if any other chef were acting the same way, I’d call him or her out. But I really do think that that was clever of Michael to want to see the chefs dice. Knife skills do tell a lot.

I want to digress just a sec, in defense of my Mikie.

When I got out of cooking school and came back to New York, I was looking for my first restaurant job (before I realized that in NO WAY did I want to cook in a restaurant for a living). I walked into one restaurant and the chef didn’t have a job, so he called a friend of his - the VERY famous (and French) Michel Fitoussi and asked him if he knew anyone with a job.

I went over to see him, and Chef Fitoussi asked where I went to cooking school. THEN the only other thing he asked of me was to chop an onion.

I passed his test, because he could see that I been taught properly, i.e. the FRENCH way: Trim the onion, cut in half and peel, make the first cuts horizontal to the work surface, second ones perpendicular, then chop.

BTW, I had a job with a friend of his 2 hours later and ever since then, I've always looked at chopping style as a clue to a chef’s training. (Don’t tell anyone, but I mostly do NOT chop onions that way anymore…unless a chef is watching.)

One other thing. This is kind of what I was hoping for. I wanted to see the REAL Michael. I wanted to see how he was. How he operated. What he was like.

Yeah, he was a bit of a brute. But he wasn’t in his own kitchen and he had been presented with a bunch of underlings and his first response was to LEAD them. To be a chef. That’s WHAT a chef is. You can’t be a chef ALONE in your kitchen. It literally means CHIEF, leader or boss. (Oh! Am I yelling? Sorry.)

You could argue that he could have led more effectively, but you’re not going to get any Michael-hating here. I prefer to think of it like this: It’s not that HE was super-bad, it was that the others were super-nice. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Blais is such a ninny. He describes Rick’s cooking and his own as being “rustic Mexican meets molecular gastronomy”. Was it on Top Chef that some judge once referred to molecular gastronomy as being soul-less? I don’t necessarily agree with that, but I do think a one trick pony gets a bit old.

Anita realizes she’s made a mistake picking Jamie, because she’s taking too long cleaning the seafood for the raw bar. Jamie tells us Anita isn’t organizing well and that the chef still hasn’t told them what’s on the menu.

Why is there a commercial for the new season of Top Chef next Wednesday? Are they showing that and the finale of the TCM on the same night? Yup, that’s exactly what they’re doing. And they’re supersizing the first episode of Top Chef Las Vegas and giving only 45 minutes to Top Chef Masters.

Kelly comes in the next day with 2½ hours to go and tells them there’s a twist. OH no, please don’t make it that the sous chefs are switching teams and Michael is getting Dale! PLEASE NO!

Anita looks REALLY po’ed. Think Jamika having her pineapple taken away from her.

Kelly says the location of their lunch has been changed to the SLS Hotel and they have 30 minutes to pack up all their food and then 2 ½ hours to finish cooking. Whew, I’m actually relieved. They stay on their same teams. Unfortunately, though, the lunch is being served outside, which they didn’t know. Richard says Michael is going crazy and Rick is being calm and cool. Richard, stop being such a little tattle-tale and just do what you have to do!

Kelly shows them the space and it’s completely in the sun. Anita says she would never have chosen a raw bar. THEN Kelly says they have to get rid of one sous chef. Fabio remarks, “I’m sweating like a mountain goat at the beach and she’s telling us we have to get rid of one chef.”

Michael is nice when he gets rid of Brian, because he had finished his mis en place. Hubert gets rid of Spike. Rick deep sixes Betty and Anita is almost gleeful to ditch Jamie.

They all get it done. These Hollywood types show up with the critics. Richard says Michael’s food looks like a wedding from 1987. He mispronounces his name.

Rick is calm as a cucumber as he serves folks. Hubert is completely charming. Michael is not happy with the way his table looks.

The critics go to Anita’s table first and Kelly goes through the rigamarole of introducing the critics.

Anita - Asian Buffet With An Array Of Sauces & Condiments

Jay LOVES the braised pork rib, but isn’t sure there are enough good dishes on her buffet.

Michael - Rustic Italian Buffet

Gael doesn’t love the TASTE of the risotto, but she’s impressed with the cooking. They all agree the swordfish is odd and perhaps a bit old.

Hubert - 18 dish buffet

Hubert pulls out all the stops and prepared a huge buffet, including a Vietnamese Gazpacho. We never learn exactly what’s in it, but I love the idea of a gazpacho with Southeast Asian flavors. He says to us he would be disappointed to go home, because he thinks things went well. The judges are super impressed with his dishes. Hubert thanks his sous chefs. (He would.)

Rick - Mexican Food Buffet

His dishes sound really good. Among them are an avocado bar, a tortilla soup and a pork dish. Rick gives Richard full credit for the avocado ice cream. Beautiful and wonderful say the critics. Rick says he couldn’t have asked for a better team. They’re really emphasizing that Rick and Hubert are nice guys and Michael? His approach was “different”, as Hubert said.

At Critics Table, Rick tells the critics that the best part of the challenge was getting to know his sous chefs. Is he really that nice? Closeup on Michael. Gael loved the shrimp with nuts and figs. Jay comments favorably on the avocado ice cream. He’s impressed that Rick let Richard run with it. Close up (again) on surly Michael.

Jay says Hubert presented a staggering array of dishes. Hubert says he wanted to make a feast with lots of things for people to taste. (Even I can tell that my MC is not coming off well in comparison to these two – they’re a cross between Mother Theresa and your favorite 3rd grade teacher.)

James: ”It didn’t taste like a thousand bucks. It tasted like a million bucks.” (More Michael close-ups, but more importantly, why are James’s lapels so shiny?)

Gael tells Anita her ribs were fabulous. The critics tell her that the raw bar might not have been a good idea under the circumstances and Anita says she didn’t have time to change her menu.

The critics’ questioning of Michael is weird and he’s a little weird. (See? I can be objective.) Kelly asks him if he was happy. He says - way too fast and without a trace of a smile - “I thought it worked out just fine”.

A little glimmer of his charming personality comes back when James asks him what he thinks was his most successful dish. He says the risotto. James says he did not like the taste of the shrimp. Michael takes that okay. Jay says there was a general question mark over the swordfish. He says he kept it hot and maybe that contributed to its texture. Gael says it tasted like old swordfish.

Rick made a point of telling us earlier that his sous chef suggested he go to the fish counter immediately to get the best fish. I guess Michael’s sous chefs could chop, but he didn’t quiz them on their common sense.

Kelly says the olive oil cake was too oily. MC says it needed more time in the oven and he had instructed his sous-chef to cut it only from the edge. Kelly asks how it was working with the Top Chef contestants. He says “My colleagues have more guts than I do. Cause I wouldn’t know how to say, here why don’t you go and take a dish?” Remember these are sous chefs that he doesn’t know.

The chefs go to wait in the kitchen. Jay says Rick was in his comfort zone today. They were all impressed with his cooking and his managing of his staff.

About Hubert, Jay says, “There was an immense precision in what he did. Inspired gazpacho.”

Okay, I have prediction. It’s not what I thought or hoped would happen. I predict that Hubert will take the big prize next week. He simply has it all. He’s unflappable. His cooking is flawless and his big advantage – he’s French.

Jay says there was a misstep in Anita’s menu. James: “Every dish had some kind of fundamental inadequacy to it.” Uh-oh what are they going to say about Michael?

Jay: ”There were ups and downs.” The critics didn’t like the prawn or swordfish. The olive oil cake was oily too. They don’t sound quite as down on Michael as on Anita, but who knows? I would say Anita is going home.

During the commercial is the answer to their quick poll question - Who would win a fist fight, Michael or Dale?

(Do they mean against each other or if they were fighting some random other person?)

1. Michael 74%

2. Dale 11%

3. It’s be more like a catfight 15%

(I don’t even know what that last thing that means.)

The chefs are called back in.

The critics tell Hubert and Rick they are the top finishers.

Rick

Quickfire 4

Diners 4½

James 4½

Gael 4

Jay 4½

Total 21 1/2

Hubert

Quickfire 3½

Diners 3½

James 5

Gael 5

Jay 5

Total 22

Hubert is the winner and he says the sous-chefs came up with some good stuff.

Anita

Quickfire 4

Diners 3

James 3

Gael 3½

Jay 3½

Total 17

Michael

Quickfire 5

Diners 3½

James 3

Gael 4

Jay 4

Total 19½

Whew!!! Thank goodness. Anita is told to pack her knives. Anita says the others were charming, and she’ll miss them.

In the previews in the final scene, Hubert looks 10 years younger.

I really think the three chefs that remain are the ones that should be there. And, alas, I do feel quite sure that Hubert will win, but I would love to be wrong.