Happy 4th To The Biggest Eaters Of All Time!

Oh my goodness! What has finally gotten me back to my blog? What has inspired me to sit down at my (rotten, new, impossible-to-use Windows 8) computer? Another new barn being built by Ina? No. A shakeup at the Food Network? Nope. Decimated marriages of various Food Network stars? No, even though that has actually happened. So what has gotten me to finally post again? Well, it’s July 4th and Nathan’s Hot Dog Championship happened earlier today!

I’m not bragging when I say that I totally called it before the event even started! And I have witnesses. Moments BEFORE the legendary contest at Coney Island began, I said that I doubted whether Joey Chestnut could win his 9th consecutive hot dog title at Coney Island. I’d watched many of his previous wins. I was a reluctant fan at first, when my favorite, Kobayashi, was banned from the storied contest. But Joey earned my respect with his unbridled enthusiasm and his disciplined training regimen year after year. How did I know that this time, sad to say, his streak wouldn’t hold? 

First, he looked more pasty than usual.  

  

Also, his head many not have been in the right place. Last year, he proposed to his girlfriend and then went on to win his 8th Championship on a high note. This year, they are no longer together.

The last reason I doubted Joey was that Matt Stonie had a hungry look. And, after all, Joey only beat him last year by 5 hot dogs. 

The final results:

 

You can see it better here. Joey started to come back, but Matt beat him by 2 dogs.

 

Joey showed the heart of a champion after his loss this Independence Day. He took responsibility for the results saying, “I just had trouble. I was slow and, uh, he was eatin’ fast. I couldn’t catch him.” 

 

There’s always next time. There’s also always the World Bacon Eating Completion. (Stonie is its current champion, downing 182 strips in 5 minutes.) Oh, and there are a few other crowns to be won. Here are just SOME of the other foods waiting to be devoured in athletic eating competitions:

Pork Rolls

Chicken Spiedies (No clue what they are…)

Tacos, slugburgers(!), bratwurst, tamales, ribs, oysters, burritos, gyros, boysenberry pies, chili, shrimp cocktails, Twinkies and fish tacos

AND there are hardboiled egg contests to aspire to. Joey won the Hardboiled Egg Championship in 2013, swallowing (and keeping down) the world record amount of 141 hardboiled eggs in 8 minutes.

Joey says he’ll be back next year. I hope the competition is intense and the contest is a close one. Happy 4th to all the competitors who took on the monumental challenge of stuffing themselves with more hot dogs at one time than humans were meant to consume.  

By the way, although I do love this annual patriotic ritual, I have to be honest. I can’t watch the actual eating. I put my arm over my eyes to block the shoving of the hot dogs into their mouths. It’s so gaggable that I feel as if I’m competing myself.  

Happy 4th of July! I hope you had as many hot dogs as you could comfortably eat. For me, competitive hot dog eating is a pure spectator sport that I don’t have to participate in or even fully see to enjoy.

The Chestnut Didn't Crack

Perhaps the sporting event that's your cup of tea this holiday weekend involves green grass and white shorts. 

But I liked celebrating July 4th with a more down to earth, unequivocally AMERICAN event.
 

The skilled commentators covering this elite contest said Joey Chestnut displayed the mark of a true champion in winning his 7th consecutive Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest by downing 69 hot dogs (and more importantly in keeping them DOWN) in 10 minutes! The announcers' admiration knew no bounds as they pointed out that Joey “Jaws” Chestnut always wants to improve his performance. Isn't that the mark of every great professional athlete?

 

Oh, sorry, don't look at that picture. Look at this one where I blurred out the rather unpleasant aftermath of the contestants' vigorous chewing.

 Here, this one is far enough away that you won't lose your lunch:

 Look how festive the scene looks:

Here is the final scoreboard of the results:



They displayed the number of dogs eaten as they were being consumed. NO ONE had ever eaten this many at an official event* before. Joey broke the old record (his!) and the new world record is now 69!

Joey is triumphant. He said he was going home "to rest".

Along with parades, patriotism and fireworks, the annual Nathan's Hot Dog Contest is the perfect example of the indomitable American human spirit that triumphs on Independence Day.

                           

 *The great eating champion, Takeru Kobayashi, six-time winner of the Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest, was again excluded from this event, because he has refused to sign the exclusive contract that Major League Eating requires of its competitors. MLE is the organization that sponsors the great eating events of the world, including the Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest, the Korea Town World Kimchi Eating Championship and the Hooters World Wing-Eating Championship.

One of the stipulations that Kobayashi objects to is that MLE gets a cut of ANY endorsement deal the “athlete” signs. Kobayashi has found a home with The Hofmann Sausage Co. and competes in separate events, which unfortunately do not have the same world class status as the MLE ones. He has eaten 69 hot dogs in an unsanctioned event, which Joey Chestnut likens to practice at home and says he's done the same thing. 

Kobayashi Breaks Joey Chestnut’s World Record - Unofficially

There’s a big postscript to my post about the latest hot dog championship.

Beleaguered pro-eater Takeru Kobayashi changed history again in a non-Major League Eating sanctioned event, where he managed to keep down SIXTY NINE hot dogs and buns. That beats Joey Chestnut’s world record of 68, as well as Chestnut’s latest result of 62 hot dogs and buns this afternoon in Coney Island.

Kobayashi, who brought world attention to tournament eating and has won the Nathan’s event 6 times, held his own event today and has been feuding with the Major League Eating organization over the “slave contracts” (Kobayashi’s words) that they have been requiring participants to sign. 

In a particular distasteful incident, Major League Eating PAINTED OVER Kobayashi’s face in a mural depicting eating tournament history. That’s pretty low.

Where today’s gustatory guerilla action will take Kobayashi, no one knows. But you have to admire a person who fights through 69 hot dogs (and buns) with no mustard-colored champion’s belt at stake, just for the pure glory of it.