Top Chef Just Desserts - And The Winner Is...

I'm not going to make it THAT easy. You’ll have to read to the end to see who won.

We see a quick wrap-up of the whole season. Not a good idea. It just reminds me of what was so irritating about much of this series.

At the beginning of the episode, we see two out of the three finalists without their shirts. I’ll let you imagine which two I’m talking about.

THEN Morgan makes a stunning homophobic remark that I almost miss. He says, “Zac is an annoying little fairy.” I don’t care that Zac’s parting remark was that he left fairy dust under his station. I don’t care that he WAS annoying. JUDGE HIM ON HIS BAKING! That’s ALL I care about. Morgan has an ugly soul and that makes it hard to judge HIM only his baking. He really is a pig. He really should NOT have said that.

They get to the kitchen and there is Gail standing there like a little doll, thinking that WE should be thinking how cute she looks. Yigit LOVES what’s she’s wearing and the fact that her shoes match her dress. They’re both black, so, of course they match. Am I missing something?

Gail announces the challenge. They have to create a progressive four course dessert tasting. They’ll be serving some of LA’s top pastry chefs.

Then Gail tells them they’re going out tonight. They arrive at The Edison. Danielle is pretty sure their mommies will be there, but when they arrive they only see Johnny, who looks right at home in the shadowy, romantic space. Dang, he is REALLY good-looking. The chains don’t hurt either. I wonder if it will be Yigit or Danielle who pounces.

Johnny asks them if they were expecting to see their mothers. Danielle says yes. They have cocktails and Johnny orders some desserts, which turn out to be sensational. Yigit is thinking they are rather high caliber for a bar. He’s right. The creators of those desserts are revealed to be Sherry Yard, Elizabeth Falkner and Claudia Fleming.

THEN there’s a fantastic twist, not a mean, nasty one for once. And it’s not actually a twist, it’s a treat. Those three fabulous chefs will be the contestants’ sous chefs! They pick from the cookie jar to decide who gets whom. Danielle scores Elizabeth, Yigit is thrilled with Sherry; and Morgan gets Claudia, who it turns out has NO idea about the kind of molecular approach he brings to baking and she doesn’t really care to either. Hah! Good! That’s what we call karma. Morgan is ugly to women and gay folks and NOW he’s not getting all the help he could use. Oh well! He’s beginning to actually LOOK like a pig to me, too. Can you see it?

Morgan wonders (to us) if Chef Fleming will think he’s some “ass-clown”. Probably. Yigit is mad that Morgan left the air-conditioning on all night and now he feels like he’s getting a cold. He prays to Buddha so “there’s no sourness” in his food.

They shop. Danielle looks amazingly calm and good-humored.

They arrive at the kitchen and are greeted by their sous chefs. Morgan pronounces to Claudia that he’s been done first every single challenge and he’d “very much like to continue that”. Yigit says he’s “worried” that Morgan is working with the “calm and stoic” Claudia, while Morgan is a “complete dick”. WHY is Yigit worried? He should be happy. Maybe he’s worried for Claudia.

Morgan thinks Danielle is “an idiot” for getting Elizabeth to shell millions of pistachios. The other chefs have no problem with their sous chefs.

Yigit’s menu is going to be like taking someone on a date. He’s going to end with groping the judges in a parked car?

Morgan’s menu is based on primary colors. That sounds dumb.

Morgan is making a baumkuchen, the cake that’s made of many scary-thin layers, each baked separately.

Danielle isn’t doing a theme, just things that SHE would like to eat.

Johnny comes in. He doesn’t love Danielle’s idea of an ice cream sampler. He wants her to come out of her comfort zone.

Yigit tells Johnny that he created a “clever” menu and has taken all his past criticism to heart. Suck-up.

Morgan says he’s having one of his best days of cooking, ever. He proclaims boldly to Johnny that he’s making the 4 best dishes of his life and if THEY’RE not good enough, then HE’S not good enough. Hmmm, I wonder if that will come back to haunt him.

There’s a bit of drama between Morgan and Claudia. She does not understand all his chemical talk. Good!

Yigit tells Sherry he smells $100,000 and dinner for “you and I”. YOU AND ME!

The next day they get ready. Yigit wants to win for his father who passed away.

They walk into the kitchen and are greeted by all the former contestants. Three of them will be their sous chefs and not the famous chefs. Those gals will be at the table tasting, along with the judges and the contestants that aren’t chosen as sous chefs.

Unhappily (for Morgan) they pick their sous chefs by chance. He says if he gets Zac (AND if he wouldn’t get thrown off the show for it), he’d knock “his skull” off. I would say there are some rage issues there.

Yigit gets Tim. YAY! I LOVE TIM! Now, we get to see him again. Danielle gets Tanya. Ick, but she doesn’t seem to have problem with that. And Morgan gets…HEATHER! HAHAHA! Karma is totally at work in the Top Chef kitchen.

THEN Gail tells them they’ll now be serving 17 people, not twelve. Isn’t that a problem? Noone seems to notice or care.

We mostly see Heather and Morgan, so Tim doesn’t get much face time. Darn! After buttering Morgan’s ring molds for his tiny soufflés, Heather sprinkled sugar on them too. He didn’t want her to do that and he’s not happy. Oh well.

Here are all the dishes.

The guests arrive, including Suzanne Goin, Scott Wheatfill and Ron Ben-Israel. Claudia is talking smack about Morgan to James Oseland.

The three finalists walk out and talk about their first dishes. Johnny loves Morgan’s Passion Fruit Cannoli (although the recipe reads more like a science experiment). “It delivers strong flavors in different points.” Ron is intrigued by “mango carpaccio”. Johnny says it’s just sliced mango. Tricky. Susan Feniger says the tarragon gel makes the dish for her.

Dannielle (the judge) loves the brightness of flavor in Yigit’s Coconut Lime Sorbet With Yogurt Caviar Pearls. Susan loves the combination of the sweet and savory.

Elizabeth says she loved working with Danielle and that she likes that her first course isn’t JUST a cheese course, but a dessert too. It does looks sooo amazing. I could see this having this Hazelnut Cake And Goat Cheese in any great modern Spanish restaurant.

Susan says the flavors are quite nice together. Johnny notes that it might LOOK simple, but there was a lot of work in that dish. Claudia (or was it Sherry?) says she would order this.

The chefs come out and describe their second dishes. As they go back in. Danielle waves and grins wildly to some her fellow contestants, I guess. She’s so alive and normal and sweet and she’s not at all floored to be in the finale.

Claudia says the restraint in Yigit’s dish is a beautiful thing. (Didn’t he make sorbet for the first course though?) Suzanne also loves how he deconstructed a pavlova.

Hubert notes that Danielle’s sorbet has melted a bit. Susan says that “Danielle is making the most sense” to her at this point.

I have no favorites, except I don’t want Piggy-Wiggy to win. I LIKE Danielle the most, but Yigit’s food looks pretty great.

Ron says Morgan’s dessert didn’t take it far enough and it wasn’t blue in keeping with his supposed color theme. (Yigit said that too.) But Claudia says the texture was spot on.

Morgan’s little soufflés are falling apart and he’s losing it and Heather actually comes to his rescue and makes sure the judges get the good ones. Unfortunately for Morgan, Claudia’s falls over, even before the chefs come out to talk about their dishes. “Oh pooh,” she says. That CANNOT be good for Morgan.

Yigit describes his pineapple dish as really getting the date moving in a serious direction. Remember his menu is supposed to be like a date.

He’s braised pineapple for 5 hours, which Johnny says later, he was sure was going to take the nice tartness out of the pineapple, but it didn’t. (The recipe says the pineapple is cooked for 2 hours, but maybe that’s for the home cook in a regular oven.)

Again Danielle gestures big to someone as she’s leaving. She’s so joyful just to be there, plus her Baked Alaska, as part of her ice cream trio, looks awesome!

Ron loves Yigit’s use of herbs in desserts. Susan says they’re looking for new desserts and this one would be great one for them.

Claudia says Morgan’s soufflé cake collapsed. James says his didn’t and that Morgan must have felt Claudia’s true feelings about him. Sherry says, SO sweetly, that she wouldn’t be able to sell that soufflé in her restaurant if it fell like that. Eric, who is sitting with the other contestants tasting the food, says Morgan must have ran out of time.

“Thank God for Danielle’s Baked Alaska,” exclaims James Oseland. WHY didn’t I like him before? He’s making a lot of good points. Suzanne loves it. Susan says, “Conceptually, I love her dish.”

We get a three second glimpse of Tim in the kitchen.

Judge Dannielle notes that the next dishes are the very last things they are going to taste in this competition.

James says Yigit’s cake is “pretty brilliant.” There is nothing I love more than a dacquoise, and his does look amazing.

Ron says he doesn’t taste enough caramel in Yigit’s ice cream. Johnny agrees.

Sadly, Susan says there’s something lacking in Danielle’s dessert, like salt. Johnny agrees. Darn, has Yigit just won? James says Danielle’s Chocolate Pudding Cake doesn’t look that great, but it tastes “damn good”. I really don’t mind if Yigit or Danielle wins. I’m just happy she made it to the finals.

Claudia says Morgan’s last dessert was “an inspired combination”. James loves the way the sheet of caramel shattered over the Crème Brûlée so perfectly. Johnny and all of the judges admire Morgan’s baumkuchen and its many layers.

In the kitchen after the tasting, the chefs and their sous chefs are all hugging each other…everyone except Morgan. He calls everyone over for a glass of champagne while telling US that the others made boring food. I’m thinking he won’t win. He better not.

At Judges’ Table, they talk about Danielle’s ice cream sampler and Johnny says, “I don’t even know where to start on this one.” And Danielle gives us one of her crazy screwed-up faces until Johnny reassures her, “NO, not in a bad way.”

Thanks a lot, Johnny, for terrifying Danielle. He says she “harnessed the beautiful qualities of lavender…It worked well with the honey” and Johnny called it a nostalgic dish. Dannielle loved her root beer; Gail loved her honey candy. Johnny did say, though, that the garnish of pulled sugar was from the 80’s. Hubert says Danielle’s pistachio ice cream was great. (It must have been the way that Elizabeth shelled all those pistachios).

Judge Dannielle loved Yigit’s “date” metaphor. That’s good that she didn’t find it creepy. From Morgan it would have been. She thought it looked girly and frou-frou.

Gail asks with great seriousness why Yigit had the waiters pour the consommé at the table for his Strawberry Sorbet & Lemongrass Ginger Ice Cream. Yigit says he likes tableside service and that he thinks it’s elegant. Johnny was a bit miffed that the waiter poured the consommé right ON his meringue kisses, which of course would make them instantly soggy. Yigit looks alarmed.

Dannielle says Yigit’s pineapple course was exactly what she was in the mood for after his first two courses. Johnny says he Johnny) was “dead wrong” to think that the acidity would go away after cooking the pineapple for 5 hours.

On to Morgan, Gail instantly asks, “WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOUR SOUFFLE?” He says the top tray baked a little bit less. Hubert says for the 3 of the judges, “the soufflé had crashed”. The baumkuchen was a greaet success though. And Johnny says that Morgan promised him he wouldn’t make another macaroon, but that he’s lucky it was so good.

Hubert says they all did a good job. Dannielle loved Yigit’s progression. Johnny adds that Yigit just kept showing them more and more things that he could do.

Johnny says Danielle has showed them so much in the last few challenges and that he really thought after the first course that she would win. (Does that mean he doesn’t think so now?) Gail says she will always remember Danielle’s baked Alaska. For Dannielle, it was her pistachio ice cream.

Gail says Morgan went all out and “there were elements of brilliance in so much of what Morgan did”. Hubert says his first course of cannolis was probably the most attractive dish of the night. Johnny says “Morgan is a technician” and noted that he won the most challenges along the way.

Alright, already, who is it? I think it’ll be Yigit, just because Morgan’s soufflé really was a colossal failure and Danielle, unfortunately, didn’t end on an incredibly strong note.

Johnny says they’re really proud of them and they make him proud to be a pastry chef. And it’s…Yigit. Morgan ISN’T a jerk and gives him a hug right away. He kinda backs away and hugs Danielle.

The other contestants come out and Zac screeches and jumps on him. Oh, here we go, Morgan and Yigit hug it out for real. Yigit stands with Heather and we see Zac referentially gaze up at him with adoring eyes. The last scene is so phony with Gail and Yigit standing outside and she hands him the keys to some car or other.

So do you think the right chef won? I suppose out of the final three, the right one did, but along the way, other chefs should NEVER have been eliminated. I’m still holding a grudge about Tim leaving, but I’m happy I changed my mind about Danielle.

However, I REALLY resent my time being wasted in the first four episodes with Seth. That was casting at it worst. It wasn’t entertaining to watch him. It was annoying and pathetic and really ruined the first half of the season.

When we finally saw baking and tasting in some detail, the show worked. When we saw freakouts and frenzy…not so much.

TCJD - Ben And Silvia K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Top Chef Just Desserts - Ben and Sylvia’s 61st

I’m soooo sorry this is sooo late. There’s no way you’ll be able to read this before the finale tonight, but here goes:

Yigit wants to win because he’s from San Francisco. (???)

Morgan feels lonely. He misses his son and his friends. (???) (Who knew...that he had friends?) He thinks it’s the three other chefs against him, ”which is why it’s going to feel great when I beat them”.

They arrive at the Top Chef kitchen. François Payard is in the kitchen. That makes Morgan nervous, because François is Morgan’s old boss. I guess it didn’t end well. François is large and in charge. I like him.

Godiva chocolates are piled up high. The Quickfire Challenge is for the chefs to tell their life story through a box of chocolates. They have to make 4 unique chocolates to represent 4 milestones in their lives and one has to represent their crowning achievement. Hmmm, this is actually interesting.

Godiva will “develop a piece” based on the one winning chocolate and they will distribute it nationwide.

The chefs have two hours to do this. That’s always the laughable part. Tell us everything about yourself in two hours…in miniature chocolate form.

I couldn’t do that sitting at a keyboard. Heck, I couldn’t NARRATE my life story in two hours, much less make 4 chocolates to represent important phases of my life.

Danielle is making a baseball-like chocolate to commemorate her relationship with her father and their bonding over baseball.

Ew, Morgan is telling us about his marriage to a Brazilian woman and that THAT chocolate will be bittersweet.

Yigit tells us that he shared an almond croissant with his beloved when he first met him and that was the beginning of their relationship. One of his chocolates will represent falling in love. He’s so sappy.

Zac is mixing pretzels and chocolate, which represents his parents. They’re all rushing to finish.

Yigit is in trouble. His 4th chocolate didn’t set up.

François and Gail taste Zac’s first. How are they going to each taste the chocolate if each chef is only making 4? Oh, Gail and François each have a box.

François says about one of Zac’s: “Too flat.” About another one:”Very interesting, this one. “

Danielle is darling as she talks about her family. Again, what was I missing all these weeks? And Zac is nasty when he tells us that he thinks Danielle looks like Marilyn Manson (although 3 weeks ago, I might have said the same thing). François really likes “the playfulness” of the caramel corn one decorated like a baseball.

Morgan’s chocolates ARE beautiful. He gets all choked up as he talks about his son. Then he says his last chocolate represents his experience on Top Chef and all the stress that is crushing his soul.

“Good grief,” Danielle says, “Why is he complaining? He’s won more money than anybody.”

François glares when Yigit says his fourth chocolate didn’t set up. Yigit tells him, “My first pastry chef introduced me to BOSUM.” WHAT??? Because the chocolate is shaped like a boob??? Plus I thought he was gay. WHAT is going on?

Oh, he said BUDDHISM, not bosum. The one representing his relationship and great love is François’ favorite.

Morgan wants Yigit to pull it together because he doesn’t want to win by default.

François says Yigit cannot be judged because he didn’t finish. Zac’s are too sweet. So it’s down to Danielle and Morgan. He thought Danielle’s flavors were very interesting. He didn’t like Morgan’s green tea, but he did like the rest. Morgan wins again, but it was very close. Danielle thinks it’s annoying that he shows no emotion. He chooses Morgan’s Top Chef chocolate to be featured by Godiva nationally.

The Elimination Challenge features a cute elderly gentleman. Ben walks in to say he’s celebrating his 61st anniversary to Sylvia. The chefs have to make them an anniversary cake. Ben tells the story of first meeting Sylvia at a beach party. (She was wearing a yellow two-piece.) He says it took 2 years, but finally she married him.

The chefs shop and then start to bake. Gail walks in and says they’d love them to spend time with Ben and his wife. And in walks…Sylvia…Weinstock and Ben. She says,”Are you surprised?” They ARE!

They tell the chefs what they want in a cake and about themselves. Sylvia loves lemon, Ben loves chocolate. (Shouldn’t they have had this little chat BEFORE the chefs went shopping?)

Sylvia’s wedding dress was grey and she carried pink roses. They had chemistry, she says. Ben tells the story that after the beach party broke up, they ended up at her cousin’s apartment “smooching” under a grand piano. Something good must have happened, because they have children and grandchildren. She says they’re looking forward to their cakes.

Morgan says this is the most important cake he’s ever baked. He wants it to be Yigit, Danielle and him in the finals, because Zac would throw him under the bus.

Johnny appears. Where has he been all season? He does look dashing in his black chef’s coat. He says making a cake for Sylvia Weinstock would be daunting EVEN FOR HIM. That sounds a bit boastful.

Morgan hides things from the other chefs, because he thinks they are hiding things from him. “Why should I continue helping people?” WHAT?!! When did he ever help people?

Danielle says they’re heading over to Ben and Sylvia’s friend’s house, where the party will be.

They set up their stations in the backyard around the pool (of course). Morgan brags that he has 2 hours to get about a half hour of work done.

Zac’s cake looks really messy and kind of amateurish. Plus it’s a garish blue. Isn’t there some rule about no blue food? (Blueberries are purple.)

Folks arrive. Gail thanks the owners of the house for hosting the party. We don’t learn their names, but the gentleman has a huge white bushy moustache.

These are the tasters – Gail, Johnny, Hubert, François Payard and the happy couple - Silvia and Ben.

Morgan

Top Tier: Lemon Sponge & Raspberry Panna Cotta

Bottom Tier: Dark Chocolate Sponge With Ganache

Morgan says since they met at the beach, he decorated the cake with shells. It’s pretty…AND pretty plain. He went as minimal as possible bordering on almost apathetic, if you ask me.

Morgan did make a little piano and put it on top of the cake to commemorate the couple’s first romantic moment. There was also a miniature yellow bikini top lying across the piano bench. He brought in the pink roses of the wedding bouquet and put (piped?) pink roses inside the piano. Eh! I’m not that impressed.

Sylvia says he did a great job. Really? Johnny likes that Morgan made the cake very 3 dimensional. He did? Are Sylvia and Johnny looking at the same cake that I am?

Sylvia: “I like the texture of the yellow cake. I like the chocolate cake too, by the way and I’m not a chocolate lover.”

Danielle

Chocolate Cake With Sour Cherry Compote And Greek Yogurt Ice Cream

I’m really liking Danielle. I think she’s a trouper and suddenly all her little affectations are endearing, not annoying.

I think her cake looks beautiful. It’s grey (like Sylvia’s dress) and is decorated with black and white rectangles, representing the piano keys, arranged like a spiral staircase going up and around the cake. The initials on the cake look a little messy, but the icing is completely smooth and flawless (from this angle anyway).

Danielle says the keys were inspired by the kissing under the piano story. Sylvia doesn’t look that enthralled with this cake. Danielle also says she piped 3 pink roses and 6 grey roses on top of the cake to represent her three children and 6 grandchildren. Sweet. Oh good, that’s what Sylvia says. Sylvia tastes it and goes Mmm and she likes the filling.

François: “Zee chocolate sponge is very moist, you know.” But Sylvia says she doesn’t like the battleship gray color. Johnny says, ”Maybe that’s a reference to 61 years married.” Hardy har har. Gail says it’s more like the Love Boat. Good one, Gail.

Zac

Top Tier: Dark Chocolate & Fresh Raspberry

Bottom Tier: Lemon Sponge & Raspberry Jam

Sylvia goes up to Zac’s blue disaster of a cake with all kinds of chotches on it and says, “Oh my!”

Zac says he loved the story about Sylvia pulling Ben into the water to play. That may explain why he made the cake blue, but not why he made it all messy.

He added white and dark chocolate shapes, placed every which way on the cake, to remind them of the piano. Really unprofessional looking. Morgan says that Zac’s cake “is the Christmas tree he didn’t want his cake to be.”

Zac even admits that “Visually, this was a caketastrophe.” Well put.

Hubert expresses his displeasure in a low-key way. He says the cake reflects Zac’s personality (flamboyant, I guess he means) but that it’s not his favorite.

Sylvia:”The guy’s creative, but it’s not elegant enough.” Where is Shinmin when we need her? WHAT in the world would SHE say about this cake?

François: “You eat with your eyes first. If it’s not appealing… you never want to buy it.”

Sylvia says it would be a great Bar Mitzvah cake. Nah, I think it would be cake for preschoolers, because that’s who it looks like made it!

Johnny “appreciates” the fact that Zac added hazelnut praline to his passionfruit ice cream. What an awful combination!

Sylvia asks François if he likes the chocolate sponge. He says the cocoa powder tastes burned. Hubert says the yellow cake was nice and moist. That shouldn’t be enough to put Zac in the finale.

Yigit

Top Tier: Almond Cake With Chocolate Mousse

Bottom Tier: Sponge Cake With Lemon Cream

Oops, it’s impossible to cut the lemon layer nicely. And the Pâte de Fruits layer is hard to get through. It’s impressive that Yigit made that, but do you usually put that between cake layers? Also Hubert says the Pâte de Fruits (I just like saying that) is kind of tough.

François thinks the whole thing is too complicated with too many layers. Sylvia says,” It’s like a woman who wears all her jewelry to the occasion. Don’t do it.”

Hmm, but will they hate Yigit’s cake more than Zac’s? It seems pretty clear that either Zac or Yigit will be going home. Not that I like either one, but I think it should be Zac who goes home…although Yigit should have gone home last week, so whomever goes home (between those two), I’ll be okay with.

Hubert says he liked the presentation of Yigit’s cake. He says the chocolate replica of Sylvia’s glasses was a nice touch. Good point. It should be Zac who goes home.

The chefs walk into Judges Tables with Gail, Johnny, Hubert and François. The winner will receive $15,000.

Hubert says Danielle’s was imaginative with the piano keys winding their way up the cake like steps. “Pretty brilliant,” he says. Wow. François says the flavor was good and her cake was moist. Johnny says, though, that the gray is really unappetizing. Danielle says she likes the combination of grey with pink roses.

Yigit says he almost started to cry after he heard Sylvia and Ben’s love story. Oh please, don’t do the ugly cry again!!!

Johnny says Yigit overthought the cake and made it too complicated. François thought his cake LOOKED the most elegant. Gail says they all agreed that the pâte de fruit didn’t work. It was the texture, not the flavor that was bad. It made a “separation” in the cake. Yeah, I definitely get that.

François liked the simplicity of Morgan’s cake. He even liked the piano on top, but he thought the panna cotta (ice cream?) alongside it was missing some acidity. Hubert says Morgan’s chocolate cake was a little dry. HA! My girl Danielle made a better chocolate cake than Morgan. So there! Johnny says Morgan’s shell border was unevenly and not well done. Wow, is he in danger? Probably not.

Zac claims he was nervous about making a cake for Sylvia and that he didn’t want to insult her. So he made THAT cake? That makes NO sense.

Hubert likes the TASTE of Zac’s cake. Johnny “appreciated” the fact that he took them back to their childhood. (Doesn’t he mean infanthood?) But Johnny wishes he had found “a more mature way” to do that.

Zac says his cake was a mess, BUT at least he didn’t play it safe. THEN Zac says, looking at Morgan, that it really upset him that Morgan won $20,000 in the chocolate fashion show and had no reaction. He seemed like he didn’t care in the least.

Oy, Zac goes on and on. Hopefully, he is SO going home. None of this matters. We don’t care how enthusiastic Zac is or how robotic Morgan is. CAKE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS! Zac's cake was a disaster and so was he. Byuh-bye.

Morgan (makes the mistake of answering him and) says that singing show tunes just isn’t his personality. Oh gosh, are we getting a disguised gay slur in here?

Morgan says he doesn’t think it’s polite to brag about winning. Wow, that’s the first decent thing he’s said all season. Gail says alrighty then (or the equivalent), ignores all of the drama and shoos them out of the room.

Back in the stew room, Zac says “It’s personality. It’s not personal.” Morgan says (to us), “Yeah! Yours sucks, go buy a new one.”

Hubert says Zac is “a flamboyant artist” and it just got away from him. François reminds them that the cocoa tasted burned and that it’s “all about the cake”. THANK YOU! My point exactly!

Gail says Morgan really held back and kept it too simple. François says it was the most appropriate for the occasion. Hubert rightly says that Morgan’s cake “was SO simple, it has to be perfect and it was not”. Johnny says Morgan’s cake really wasn’t his favorite and that it was too bland.

Johnny reiterates that he didn’t like the color of Danielle’s cake and even though she was referencing Sylvia’s wedding dress, she was making the cake for today. François says the taste of Danielle’s cake was incredible. “The flavor was really there.”

Hubert says Yigit made his cake with HIS (Yigit’s) mind on the outside and Zac’s mind on the inside. Got that? I guess he means that it looked elegant on the outside, but the inside had too many elements with some that just didn’t work.

François: “Too bad, he (Yigit) was much too complicated. To tell you the truth, I don’t remember the cake.” Johnny says he remembered the pâte de fruit and that he didn’t like it. It’s amazing that Zac may just slide through with his mess of a cake and Yigit may go home.

I’m thinking Danielle may actually win this week. Johnny says (incorrectly) that they ALL deserve to be in the finals. They show a close up on Gail who takes a deep almost painful breath as she announces the loser.

Oh, wait, she asks François to announce the winner. And it’s Danielle! She’s thrilled. Yay! She jumps up and down and then Gail says she’s in the finale. She runs out of the room.

Johnny says Morgan played it too safe. Zac put too much Zac in Sylvia and Ben’s cake and Yigit hasn’t learned the art of restraint. And the loser…(I think it’ll be Yigit)…is…Zac. Gail looks almost ill as she says it.

Zac says he wasn’t surprised to be eliminated, but that he WAS surprised that they didn’t mention how rubbery Morgan’s cake was. He tells the others there’s some fairy dust under his station if they need it. So long, suckah!

I can’t believe that Morgan ISN’T going to win. I'm guessing that if you put all of his creations up against all of Danielle’s and Yigit’s, then Morgan would deserve to win. But, of course, the decision isn’t made with commonsense. It’s all about what happens tonight.

Top Chef Just Desserts Plus Cake In A Box

Top Chef Just Desserts – Celebritea Party

Things seem a little more toned-down in the house since the mean girl left. Danielle is excited to be the last woman standing. Yigit is still broken up by Heather leaving and being on the bottom last week.

Gail is in the kitchen with Shinmin Li, “renowned cake decorator”. Zac says she may be pretty, but she “breathes fire”. They have to make an edible bouquet and they’re looking for an “artful decorative dessert”. Shinmin sounds like she has a stick up her…backbone as she describes the challenge.

I think the chefs are all pretty imaginative in their approach. Danielle says she prefers to work with FRESH flowers, so she’s going to use fruit to make her bouquet.

Eric doesn’t do pulled sugar, so he’s making a giant cupcake and he’s going to pipe his flowers.

Yigit decides to make a pulled sugar vase, which is more delicate than Lalique. In fact, it’s so fragile that when Morgan barely grazes it, it shatters. I actually don’t think he did it on purpose, but he IS Yigit’s main competition. Yigit is fairly mature about it. Can you imagine the freakout Sean would have had?

The dishes are here.

Yigit looks around the room and disses everyone else’s work (to us) and thinks he has a good chance of winning.

Morgan makes chocolate flowers with a pulled sugar bow. The bow is absolutely gorgeous. Shinmin gives him a big smile.

Danielle says she likes natural organic things. I like what she’s planning. She candies long strands of orange zest and then rolls them up to look like roses. She loves hydrangeas, so she makes her own marshmallows to make tasty replicas. She paints sugar cookies to look like flowers. I think her display looks pretty good.

Either Shinmin or Gail (I can’t tell which) requests that Danielle turn her vase around so they can see the back. Uh-oh, the flower cookies aren’t finished on the back.

I think Danielle is completely charming. How did I not like her before?

Yigit explains that his showpiece broke along with his vase and he just threw this bouquet together in 13 minutes. Oh, isn’t he clever?

Yigit made some tropical roses and he says he blew some luster dust on them. I thought we learned that it was bad to BLOW anything on a food item. No one says a word about it.

Zac makes chocolate “flowers” (weird ones) and leaves and mounts them on a mirrored vase of such hideousness that it’s hard to look at anything else. The flowers aren’t good anyway, so the overall impression is pretty awful.

Eric tells Shinmin and Gail that he wanted to keep his “bakery style”. Shinmin says, “You’re more comfortable with PIPING flowers?” as if that’s a really second class way to go.

The losers –
Zac - Shinmin says his chocolate work is messy.

Eric - Shinmin thinks his sturdy base requires something with more height and she also thinks his piping work is messy. “It just looks like a pile of icing.”

I think Shinmin has some real OCD issues.

Eric says (to us) “I love what I did…It was one of the cleanest things I’ve done. And I think Shinmin is rude.”

Danielle – Shinmin dioesn't like her contrasting textures or the fact that her piece wasn’t done on the back.

The winners –
Morgan had the most professional looking presentation, Shinmin says.

Yigit’s is well balanced and each of his flowers “has personality”.

The winner is Morgan and he wins $5000. He says his grand total is $36,000.

Gail tells them the Elimination Challenge is to cater a tea party for Food and Wine Editor, Dana Cowin. This theme is dumbness personified. They have to make 2 small tea party desserts, representing a celebrity couple.

The chefs go shopping. Morgan checks out a gossip rag to help him think of a couple. They get back to the kitchen and find there’s absolutely no chocolate in the pantry. Suddenly Johnny comes in and announces that their desserts have to be chocolate-free.

Zac is unworried (he’s actually gleeful) because he hadn’t planned to use chocolate and neither did Danielle, but the others had. This is dumb. It’s one thing if they had been told BEFORE they went to the store, but this is really unfair.

Zac is mixing butter into something and suddenly there’s a close-up of Dawn dishwashing liquid. Did someone spill that into his or her batter? WHY are they showing us that?

They finish their prep and arrive at the small kitchen of their venue. Morgan is being a bully, Zac says.

Eric is quite unhappy about not being able to use chocolate - his couple IS Oprah and Steadman, so that could be problem. He hates his presentation, but hopes that the flavors will win out.

At the table, Johnny brags to Dana and Shinmin about telling the chefs they couldn’t use chocolate. Gail is all goodie-goodie and says, “It’s a nice opportunity for them to, perhaps, think seasonally”.

THAT’S GREAT IF THEY HAD BEEN TOLD BEFORE THEY WENT SHOPPING. I HATE these stupid twists. It reminds me of PUNK’D, which I also hate.

I think Johnny’s comment is mean and mean-spirited, which is also how I feel about taking away chocolate. It’s like they’re trying to trick the chefs. Really moronic. I don’t give a hoot, if they think it makes them think on their feet or whatever. I hate this nonsense of changing a challenge halfway through. I’m mad.

Shinmin says traditionally tea parties don’t usually include chocolate. That’s all great, but tell them in advance. Don’t pull this mean prank-type stuff on them.

Eric’s desserts come out. He says Steadman’s shortbread is square and savory and Oprah’s is round and more boisterous. (That doesn’t make too much sense, as well as being slightly rude.) The crowd seems to like the flavor. Johnny’s thinks they’re too big. Shinmin says his Oprah is messy, but says the shortbread part of Steadman crumbles in her mouth. (That’s a good thing, apparently.)

Zac steps out from the kitchen and tell the judges he chose Julie Andrews and Blake Edwards. They like the size of the little pastries and that you can stack them on top of each and eat them together. They like the crunch in the cheesecake. “Perfect bite”, Shinmin says.

Danielle is happy to announce that her couple is Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter. She says she put a little jalapeño on top of her strawberry cake for Conan…because he’s hot.

I understand the reasoning for Conan’s dessert, but I don’t get the oatmeal cookie with white icing for Andy Richter, unless it’s because she’s saying he’s bland. She did pipe lines around the edge to represent his podium. Shinmin, as if she’s testing Danielle, asks her if she made her own strawberry jam. Thankfully, she did.

The jalapeño clears Gail’s sinuses. The judges don’t like Danielle’s cake, but they love her idea. Dana thinks the two pastries are mismatched, but Johnny and Dannielle (the judge) like the contrast.

Morgan had planned to make a Sacher Torte, but, of course, it has chocolate, so he made a “blonde” Sacher Torte. That’s fine, aside from the fact that it’s not really a Sacher Torte if it’s not chocolate.

BTW, have you ever had a REAL Sacher Torte? I’m really sorry for all you Viennese pastry lovers, but they’re dreadful. They're made of a rather dry - hardly chocolate - sponge cake, sandwiched with jam (which doesn’t help) and a coating of chocolate on the outside. The chocolate icing isn’t thick enough to make up for the stuff on the inside. The best part is the wooden box it comes in, which actually says Sacher Torte (literally and figuratively.) *

Anyway, Morgan goes into some story about how Reggie Bush can’t make up his mind about Kim Kardashian and so he fills the Sacher Torte with two fillings and Kim is bitter and he uses a heavily citrus-ed filling for his macaroon. (Huh? Plus this whole Kim/Reggie thing really dates the show.) Whatever, it’s kind of a stupid story, but his tea treats do look amazing.

Dana says that even though his macaroon is more than one bite, it’s worth having two bites of. Shinmin says the citrus filling wasn’t evenly distributed in the macaroon. Johnny says it wasn’t finger food, which was part of the requirement.

Yigit comes out with lots of schmutz on his jacket and Johnny says he looks flustered. Yigit says he did Madonna and Guy Ritchie and made two desserts that contradict each other in flavor. The judges think his Madonna yogurt cake is really bland. Dana says if Madonna were a dessert, she’d be “red hot”. Johnny doesn’t like the presentation of the Guy Ritchie dessert at all.

Yigit (and everyone else) thinks Yigit is in a lot of trouble.

Morgan, Zac and Danielle get called in. They have the top desserts. The judges tell Morgan they loved his dessert.

Gail loved Zac’s Pink Panther Pavlova.

Shinmin is annoying as she says Zac’s dishes were the only ones that made her think of a Devonshire tea. She pronounces Devon as if it were French. Annoying.

The winner is Zac. Great, but I really don't care who wins.

Eric and Yigit get called in as the worst performers this week. The judges give it to both of them. They act as if Eric practically poisoned them, but they were actually tasting his stuff, it didn’t sound that bad. The fact that chocolate was taken away from them really got to both Eric and Yigit. Dannielle says Eric showed a lack of creativity.

Shinmin asks, ”Are you AWARE that the two pieces of shortbread were baked unevenly?” Eric says he stalled and got trapped. He should have said they were jerks to take away chocolate.

The same thing happened with Yigit. He says his desserts were supposed to be chocolate and the judges don’t even address that issue. Everyone has something bad to say about every element of both of Yigit’s dessert.

However the judges did like Yigit’s story about Madonna and Guy Ritchie. Yeah, but how fair was it to take chocolate away from someone who was doing Oprah? I think the whole thing is so unfair.

Yigit and Eric go back to the stew room. I think Yigit should go home. They come back in. Who gets shown the door? Eric. That stinks.

Johnny tells Eric he’s a great chef as he shakes his hand. The most exciting part to Eric is that he got called Chef. He doesn’t actually care that he’s leaving, because his whole Top Chef experience has made him finally think of himself as a chef, and not just a baker. Eric says, “It wasn’t until now that I realized that was my journey. That…I became a chef here.” Sweet.

Johnny says he was mad at Yigit for serving those desserts. I’M mad that they pulled this chocolate thing.

It’s funny how I’ve completely changed my mind about Danielle. She seems like a fun, nice person. Maybe she’s not a Johnny Iuzzini or a Shinmin Li, but she is imaginative. I can’t believe that she will triumph over Morgan, but we’ll see.

*Sacher Torte Note:

These boxes held the two versions of Sacher Tortes as they exist today.

I tasted them eons ago, when my father wanted to test the difference between the two. I didn’t like either one.

The Original Sacher Torte, first made 1832, is made only in Vienna and Salzburg and can be bought and shipped just about anywhere.

The Demel Bakery developed and sold a version of the Sacher Torte at their bakery and then at the Hotel Sacher beginning in 1876.

After a legal battle as to who could use the name, the Demel Bakery had to settle for calling theirs the “Original Eduard Sacher Torte”. The other remains The Original Sacher Torte.

The main differences between the two? The Original Sacher Torte has a layer of jam in the middle of the cake. Demel’s has the jam directly under the chocolate icing.

Even though they’re world famous, Terri agrees with me about the taste of the Sacher Tortes and SHE had them in Vienna, not out of a box.

Top Chef Just Desserts - A Strawberry Filled Cake Does Not A Fraisier Make Plus Dessert Wars

Top Chef Just Desserts - Dessert Wars

The episode starts with the usual - Heather is being kind of full of herself. Then Yigit is kind of full of himself. Oh, and Morgan is DEFINITELY full of himself. Is there a pattern here?

Gail greets them in the kitchen with Johnny and says that there are no more immunity wins in the Quickfire Challenges.

They’re doing the Mis En Place Quickfire and funnily enough, just by chance, “Team Diva” is working together, which leaves Morgan, Danielle and Eric on the other team.

The chefs have to form 12 perfect tart shells and pipe 8 perfect buttercream roses; then they have to separate and whip 6 eggs (by hand) until they’re firm enough to stay IN the bowl when it’s turned upside down for 10 seconds. THEN, as a team, they have to stretch strudel dough over the entire length of the table and put together a strudel.

Each member of the winning team will get $3000. That’s pretty sweet.

Danielle and Yigit do the tart shells for their respective teams. Interestingly, Danielle is beating him and whipping them out like crazy. She finishes first. Yigit has to correct some poorly made shells before he can move on.

Eric gets a start on the roses. Heather is next for Team Diva to do the roses and she finishes before Eric.

Zac tackles the egg whites and he beats and beats and beats, while Morgan beats his while barely breaking a sweat. Morgan finishes first and holds the whites over his head. Zac finishes a few seconds later. Both teams move on to the strudel dough. Team Diva finishes first. They are delirious. I don’t like them…at all.

Gail announces the Elimination Challenge – the first ever Dessert Wars. Each team will open a Dessert Shop with each chef being responsible for making three items. One of each team’s dishes has to be a bread item.

They look at their adjoining spaces. There's a nice display case on each side. Morgan and Danielle argue about decor. Danielle, surprisingly, is not at all annoying. In fact, I quite like her. Maybe she just seems normal in comparison to Morgan, but for whatever reason, she seems like a perfectly sane regular person.

Heather is describing the challenge to us saying that Team Diva is on one side and Team Loser is on the other. She is NOT a nice person. We also hear from her (for the first time) that 2 of the dishes have to be à la minute. I wonder why Gail didn’t say that.

Morgan is bellyaching about Yigit taking all the lemons. Who cares, just cook. Morgan is cursing up a storm and basically losing it because of all he has to get done.

Back at the house, Eric says,” Do we have to have a talk?” Luckily, Morgan comes back down to earth and says, “Yeah, it would go something like I’m sorry, we’re f#$%ed.” Eric is worried that Morgan is going to bring their team down and he says this is the first challenge he cares about.

The next day they have 2 hours to finish their prep and set up everything. Yigit opens the refrigerator and a bowl of whipped cream falls out all over him. They all rush to finish everything. Eric’s team seems pretty well organized and Team Diva is still running around.

Folks arrive and Yigit and Zac both are taking the front of the house duties, while Heather stays back in the kitchen to do the cooked-to-order dishes. Yigit tells us that Heather is not the best person to have in the front of the house. Ya think?

Danielle and Eric are in the dessert shop and Morgan is in the back assembling last minute items.

The judges arrive. They go to Team Diva’s shop, Pastry Playland, first. Dumb name. Nancy Silverton is a guest judge along with Hubert Keller. Cool. He has such a glimmer in his eye.

Johnny likes Team Diva’s table decorations of lollipops and tulips in a vase filled with yellow jelly beans. Hubert, however, has a real problem with how empty their display case is. There is a big baker’s rack right behind it with lots of baked goods, but hardly anything in the glass-enclosed pastry case. Gail concurs and says it looks sad.

Here are all the dishes.

Yigit introduces the dishes to the judges. He’s reasonably affable. Nancy says Zac’s beignet is very light and his brioche is “terrific”. Hubert likes the beignet too, but thinks the shake is a bore. Gail is not happy with Zac’s caramel bacon corn. It’s unevenly coated.

They like Yigit’s Margarita sorbet. But, um, what part of sorbet says PASTRY shop to you? You don’t see those crazy kids over at Carlo's Bakery making sorbet.

They notice that Yigit’s dough for his chocolate tart is really hard to cut through and unevenly rolled. In fact, Hubert almost broke the plate trying to work at it. (Heather made and rolled out the dough.)

Yigit’s last dessert is a Fraisier, not pronounced like the television show, but like the French word for strawberry. But no matter how you say it, YIGIT’S CAKE IS NO FRAISIER!

I’m all for innovation and interesting takes on classic recipes, but no matter what else it includes, a Fraisier requires cut strawberries arranged along the outside edge of the cake.

Yigit made a layer cake and then threw a bunch of strawberries on the INSIDE. He did arrange beautifully-made white chocolate leaves (I think) around the edge, but he shouldn’t have called it a Fraisier then.

Oh goodie, Hubert agrees with me. He says when you hear Fraisier, it should look a certain way and this cake doesn’t. “HERE the visual was not Fraisier,” Hubert says.

Zac goes in the kitchen and tells Heather to give him the plates for the judges. She tells him to shut up a few times. She’s so NOT charming.

Hubert notices fingerprints on Heather’s frozen dessert. That’s pretty bad, isn’t it? And Nancy says, “The flavor of the key lime is SO timid. Whenever I hear the word citrus I want to pucker.” Hubert likes her pudding, but Johnny notices that her pastry is the same as Yigit’s and he doesn’t like it any better here.

Just as the judges are about to arrive at Whisk Me Away, the other team’s pastry shop, Eric runs into the kitchen to see what he can do for some guy who’s allergic to sugar and nuts. Morgan whips something up, because he doesn’t “work at the NO factory,” but that leaves a long line building up.

The judges come in and see a hole in the service. That can’t be good. I can’t tell if they actually wait in the line or just cut and get in the front.

Danielle is perfectly sweet attending to them, but later Gail says she showed low energy. I think she was okay, even though she didn’t personally escort them to the table.

Even though Hubert doesn’t usually love layer cakes, he says Eric’s buttercream is “really well done”. Nancy likes his chocolate chip cookie, because it’s NOT made with ready-made chocolate chips. Gail wonders if the cookie is too simple. Johnny says you need things on the menu that will sell.

Hubert says Eric’s banana bread is not browned enough. Johnny has a more serious problem with it. “The proportion of chemical leaveners is off a little bit.” Did he take a baking soda meter and measure the levels? Gail says the flavor is “really nice”.

Next up are Danielle’s desserts. They love Danielle’s homemade ginger ale. How did she do that, I wonder? But Nancy thinks she should have gone with ice cream over sorbet to make a float. Johnny likes her shortcake in little paper brioche cups. Nobody loves the coffee pie. It doesn’t have enough coffee flavor.

The judges love Morgan’s lemon fried pie. They like the distinct lemon flavor. Morgan’s pretzel stick looks absolutely burned, but no one says anything. Johnny loves the fact that he seems to have brushed it with butter. I guess the butter made up for the overcooking.

For Morgan’s last dessert, a chocolate mousse cake, Johnny says, ”The construction…is just perfect.” Nancy: “I think it’s the most sophisticated of any…that we’ve seen so far.” Gail says that Morgan showed “the most range of any of the pastry chefs”.

Back at Judges’ Table, they all get called it. Nancy tells Eric’s team that their pastry shop felt very comfortable. But Johnny tells Danielle that she was a bit lackadaisical and casual.

She makes the same kind of ugly screwed-up face that my son makes sometimes and I have to say to him, “STOP IT, no girl is going to want you with that face”. Danielle, stop it!

She says she’s sorry he felt that way and that she just felt their place was casual. Johnny makes the good point that just because the food is casual doesn’t mean the service should be. I, 100%, believe that, but I don’t think Danielle was that bad.

BTW, I’m much more apt to jump on poor service than poor food. I can’t actually remember when I’ve had REALLY bad food in a restaurant. Really bad service, on the other hand, is a dime a dozen.

The judges dump on Eric’s banana bread and Nancy also mentions problems with the leavening. Eric says they’re absolutely right…that he just couldn’t remember the recipe. They loved all of Morgan’s chocolate dessert and not Danielle’s coffee tart.

I love Nancy’s statement: “There are those flavors in life, whether they’re coffee, chocolate or lemon that when you say those flavors, they have to be assertive or don’t do them.”

They move on to the other team. Zac makes the point that THEIR desserts were complex and not like at “a grab and go bakery”. He’s obviously hinting that the other team’s desserts were too simple, especially after Eric said that they concentrated on homey desserts.

Hubert loved Zac’s doughnut, but not the milkshake, which Hubert says was of a different caliber (as in worse). Nancy loved his brioche.

Heather says overall she was happy with her frozen key lime bar. Good for her, but the judges felt differently. Hubert tells her about the fingerprints. Johnny says the key lime flavor was weak.

Yigit says his pastry shell was a little bit thick. Johnny corrects him and says it was A LOT thick. Hubert says the pastry was too hard, which was “a shame because the ganache was sensational”. Let’s see if Heather speaks up.

Before anyone can say anything, Johnny asks if Heather and Yigit used the same dough. Yigit says yes and Heather immediately says she wants to defend Yigit and that the pastry was hers. At least, Heather’s not a complete snake.

Gail mentions that their showcase was virtually empty. Zac says right before the judges got there, they were really busy and didn’t have time to refill it.

Gail asks whose responsibility the display case was. Zac instantly says that they were a team and they’ll win or lose together. That’s kind of a moronic thing to say when, same team or not, it’s only ONE person who will go home.

Nancy announces that Whisk Me Away wins and the three chefs are thrilled to split $30,000. So Team Diva DOES lose and they go back to the stew room to await their fate.

They go back in with the judges and it’s…Heather who goes home. Who would have thunk that? That Heather would go home before Danielle? Quite an intriguing outcome, but I don’t disagree. Each of Heather’s desserts had a problem.

The worst part was that in the stew room Yigit starts crying…no, he's weeping…NO, HE’S WAILING. This is awkward.

The preview features Yigit A LOT, so I’m wondering if he’s the next to go. We’ll have to wait and see which way the cookie crumbles…